Tis The Season 2012

"Tis The Season..."

Greetings folks and welcome to another edition of “The Diplomatic Report.” By now, we should all be in the holiday spirit spreading joy to all we meet. If you aren’t in the holiday spirit and are instead spreading hate with your cantankerous attitude like the Grinch, know that Black Santa is watching you; he’s taking notes and will deal with you accordingly. So, straighten up or suffer the consequences. You’ve officially been warned!

I, like many others, love this time of year. I love the inordinate number of days off, the large amounts of comfort food and the presents. I also love the fact that, if at no other time of the year, people are generally nicer than they normally would be. If it takes festive lights, a Douglas fir and a jolly fat man in a red suit to get you to be nice, then I’ll take it. Whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote.

Most of us associate this time year as being joyful, promising and reflective, as we should. The winter holidays are an opportunity for us to gather with family and friends, give gifts, show our gratitude for nearly a year of God’s favor, and reflect on all the things that make life worth living. However, this isn’t true for everyone. For every person who has their choice of houses to visit, there’s someone who doesn’t have any. For everyone who has a tree full of presents, there’s someone who won’t get any. It’s easy to look at our lives and our prosperity and assume that most, if not all, people enjoy the same comforts as us. Perception is reality right? Well unfortunately, the reality is that there are a lot of men, women, and children who celebrate the holidays alone, with no gifts, no food, and no bells to jingle.

For some, the holidays are a reminder of grief, suffering, and heartache. Imagine having broken up with your long-term partner and having to spend the holidays alone for the first time in forever. Imagine having lost a loved-one around the holidays, this time last year, or a previous year. Imagine being homeless, depressed, hungry and unable to share in the joy. Imagine having lost your young child in a horrific act of violence mere days before Christmas, which is the grim reality of the families in Newton, Connecticut.

No parent should ever have to bury their child and for most who do, it’s typically due to illness or reckless behavior of the offspring (drug/alcohol abuse, gang affiliation). However, no matter the cause, it doesn’t make it easy. I watched my grandmother bury 3 of her children and as she did, a little piece of her died every time until her own death. The deaths of those 26 individuals in Newtown, Connecticut should serve as a reminder that while we’re trimming the tree, enjoying hot chocolate and being merry, this isn’t the case for everyone. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the 26 victims.

While I know the hearts of most Americans are still wrenching from the pain of this tragic incident, we still have to ask the questions, “Why?” “How?” and “What do we need to do to prevent this from happening again?” Those who choose to ignore this as an outlier or refuse to speak on it so as to “not politicize” the tragedy are personally contributing to the problem and politicizing it. Not speaking can be just as loud a form of speech as a racial epithet shouted during a crowded ethnic gathering. If not now then when? If not this incident then which one? If the deaths of 20 young children can’t spark us to move, to speak, and to do something then what will?

Tis the season not just to drink and be merry, but to make a difference. I’m a firm believer in the right to bear arms; however, as with all constitutional rights, there are restrictions. The exercise of my right to freedom of the press is great but limited in the sense that while I’m free to write and publish what I want, I can’t publish lies about someone. The exercise of my freedom of religion is great but limited in the sense that while I’m free to worship who I want, how I want, and when I want, I can’t do so in a fashion that endangers the lives of others. Our rights have restrictions and freedom isn’t free. There are boundaries and they exist for good reasons. While I believe that I, along with most Americans in this country, should be able to own weapons, I also believe that there should be restrictions on who can own them and what type of weapons we may be able to own.

I know you’re thinking, “Why this subject? Why now?” and truth be told I thought the same thing, but if not now then when. My true goal is to get you to think about your contacts, friends, and family who, for one reason or another, may have a rough holiday season. Maybe they lost their job, a loved one, are depressed, or are angry the Lakers are losing like it’s what they get paid to do. Whatever their issue may be, take the time to call, text, email, or stop by and say “hey” because you never know just how big of an impact you may be making. And don’t let this holiday spirit stop in your circle but let it extend to Aurora, Colorado, Newton, Connecticut, Chicago, Illinois, Washington, D.C. and all over the world. Tis the season.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and gets an opportunity to spend some quality time with friends and family. Merry ChristmasHannuKwanzaa! Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Don't Believe The Hype!

“Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Greetings folks and Happy Holidays! I hope you’re in the holiday spirit because I am. I haven’t purchased a tree or gifts yet but I still feel the spirit like a Baptist preacher. Truth be told, I’ve been working too much to make the time. However, rather than complain about not having the time to trim the tree, buy expensive gifts and get into fights with strangers over the last remote control car, I’ve just been thankful for the opportunity and ability to work. Today’s topic is about predictions. I’ve always believed that predictions are like farts, we all make them, however some stink more than others.

People make predictions about everything from the fate of your favorite sports team to elections. Oddly enough, most times people are wrong. I’ve been reading a book “The Signal and The Noise: Why Most Predictions Fail” by Nate Silver which has been really enlightening. Silver is the creator of the website FiveThirtyEight and is notable for his statistical prowess, especially when it comes to elections. In his book he talks about why so many experts get their predictions wrong. In an attempt not to over-simplify the answer or trivialize his brilliant work, I’ll just give one of the many reasons he covers as to why. Nate states that one of the reasons why so many predictions are wrong is due to our inability to take ALL of the facts, only the FACTS, make an OBJECTIVE assessment and then make a decision based on history, indicators and present circumstances.

Take for example the 2008 Presidential election. On the show “The McLaughlin Group” only 1 out of 5 expert panelists accurately predicted that Barack Obama would win the election. Alone this isn’t that big of a deal, even experts get it wrong sometimes. However, at the time of their predictions, precisely two weeks before the election, Barack Obama was leading in every major national poll, every key swing state, including two the Democratic Party hadn’t won in the prior election. It appears as if the panelists took the FACTS, IGNORED the indicators and made a SUBJECTIVE decision. Looking at the totality of the predictions of the panelists over a series of nearly 1,000 predictions, they were found to be just as likely to be wrong as they were right. They’re about as accurate as a coin flip.

Why do we make so many predictions and why are so many of them wrong? I believe the answer to that in part is because we’re eager to be first; first to the moon, first to the finish line, first to the buffet line. Whatever it is, wherever it is, we, especially Americans, want to be first. Furthermore, we’re biased. Every last person on this planet from the Pope to the pauper is biased. We’re all born with certain inherent ideas, which are cultivated through childhood through adulthood and refined by our experiences. No two persons’ experiences are the same, not even twins who share the same bedroom, classes and interests. Therefore, we are fundamentally different people who see things differently. In isolation there is nothing wrong with that. The world thrives on these differences. I enjoy various opinions from different people when I’m faced with a difficult decision. If I only solicited advice and information from my friends who have similar thoughts and beliefs, I would be getting the same opinion as mine and would be likely ignoring key facts. I’d much rather NOT be wrong then to be right. If that means admitting that my initial assessment was incomplete and that my conclusion was wrong, in an effort to get it right, I don’t care.

So many people are predicting when the world is going to end. I think some people are actually beginning to get scared. Can you blame them? The Mayans have a history of being correct and if we look around at all the death, murder and mayhem, it wouldn’t be hard to believe that the end is just around the corner. But what if they’re wrong? What if we’re all panicked for no reason? What if we’re missing out on valuable time we could be spending with family, friends and trying to save the world as opposed to building our fall-out bunker?

Had President Obama listened to all of the pundits, he’d still be just a senator from Illinois, if that. Had Michael Jordan listened to his coaches, he would have been a baseball player or just another kid in North Carolina. If, Abraham Lincoln had listened to his advisors this country may still be divided. The moral of the story is that no one knows when it’s all going to be said and done. No one. Rather than listen to the faulty predictions of others, I’d much rather “run on and see what the end is going to be.” I’ve never been an overly trusting person and I’m not going to start now. What I will do is continue to live my life the way I believe God wants me to and hope and believe that they’re wrong. If they’re right, chalk one up for them. I’ll hi-five them in the afterlife. Until then you should do like Public Enemy and “Don’t Believe The Hype!” Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Never Would Have Made It

Never would have made it without you.”

-Marvin Sapp “Never Would Have Made It”

Greetings folks and Happy Holidays! I hope by this time all of you are in the holiday spirit and if you aren’t, you better get there soon or Black Santa is going to deliver a beat down of epic proportions. Just so you know, Black Santa, as opposed to Jolly Ole Saint Nick, is the enforcer. And no, he’s not the enforcer because he’s Black. He’s the enforcer because he’s 6’-3”, 250 pounds and has a serious mean streak. Most of you have probably never seen or heard of him and you should thank Sweet Baby Jesus that you haven’t because he’s a bad mother…shut your mouth. But I digress.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter (@HUSLDiplomat) you may have heard about the good news I’ve been sharing- that I’m drug free, not pregnant and happy. You also may have seen me proclaim the fact that I received a job offer that I accepted yesterday. If we talk regularly or you follow the blog then you know that the last few months have been trying, to say the least. After leaving my last job the next one wasn’t immediately waiting for me, something I wasn’t accustomed to. I’m the guy who always has a plan and has 10 more just in case the first doesn’t work out. I’m the guy who always accounted for the “what if’s”. However, I failed to account for “what if there’s no job waiting when the current one ends.”

Given the current economy, my line of work and my previous locale, finding work that paid me what I needed wasn’t easy. Initially, it was no big deal; you win some you lose some. But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, it became disheartening. I began to feel demoralized and unwanted. I’ve really never been short of confidence but, here lately, I was panhandling for some. I was used to success. I was accustomed to things going my way, not because I was entitled to it but because I work pretty damn hard for everything that I get. To suddenly be devoid of the success that you’ve so regularly enjoyed as a result of years of hard work is like snatching a baby’s blanket away.

During my unemployment/job search process, it was hard to deal with people; it was hard to deal with myself. My pride and arrogance made it difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I kept telling myself, “if you’re so great why can’t you find work? Why is it taking so long? Why doesn’t anyone else recognize my greatness?” I had no answers to these piercing questions and things got worse. I sulked, I bitched, I moaned, I complained, I retreated from family and friends and I even shed a tear. However, in the midst of my strife, I found solace in knowing that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only under-employed attorney. I wasn’t the only American constantly looking for work and finding none. I wasn’t the only black man in the world who was struggling. Once I was able to not take every rejection personally it allowed me to put things in perspective.

When things go wrong we have to first analyze the problem before we can solve it. The first thing I did was blame the economy, and rightfully so. However, the blame game didn’t end there. Next I blamed myself. After pointing the finger at myself I began to change the things that I could control, which I believed would help me in my search. I got help with my resume and cover letters and sought out contacts I thought would be helpful to me in getting my name and resume out there because I understood the power of networking. As a result, my resume is probably on the desk or in the office of nearly every Democratic Congressman, unless of course it’s been thrown out already. After analyzing the source of the problem I had to take the next step.

The next step I took was prayer. I had been so consumed by my quest and how it was my problem, my fault and mine to fix that I forgot about God. It didn’t occur to me that this was a test, a necessary experience, a “Job Moment” from which to learn and grow. But even as I prayed and trusted God to open the doors I couldn’t, I got desperate. I was so desperate that I began to apply to retail stores looking for help during the holidays. Now, there’s nothing wrong with working retail. I’d shovel manure to pay the bills and feed my family if I needed to. However, when you spend six figures on your education, you look for a bigger return on your investment. So I applied, but I couldn’t even get a retail gig. Macy’s declined to offer me a job because I couldn’t work Black Friday because my best friend was getting married. I never got to the interview with Best Buy or Sports Authority because I missed the phone call and the messages I returned almost immediately were never returned. After all of this craziness, all I could think was my how the mighty had fallen. My pride took another blow as it appeared that I couldn’t even get a job stacking boxes and selling merchandise. However, the setback of not being employed by those companies was an opportunity for God to set me up for the right opportunity.

Those missed opportunities allowed me to get an unexpected opportunity-a job doing document review. Document review is filled with attorneys who are under-employed like myself who review legal documents for various firms and agencies for a decent hourly wage. In most instances, it isn’t what we would make at a firm or federal government agency, but if it’s long enough and consistent work, it’s enough to pay the bills and treat yourself to a nice dinner. What’s funny is that I applied to several legal staffing companies when I first arrived in D.C. months ago. Here it was 3 months later that I had gotten my first hit. Look at God! This opportunity allowed me to work, pay the bills and be available for the next opportunity-my new full-time job starting in a few short weeks.

I’ve learned that some things can only be gained through experience. Patience, gratitude and faith are a few of them. Many of us claim to believe in God and His power, but where is our faith in our darkest hour? We think we have the patience to withstand any storm that may arise, but how patient are we when the bills are piling up and the clock is running out? It’s easy to play armchair quarterback from the comforts of our living room when we’re divorced from the intensity of the game. But where do you stand, what do you do in the heat of the moment when you only have a few moments to make a crucial decision?

We can prepare for life’s challenges through study and education but some of life’s joys may only be obtained by enduring hardships. Did the last few months suck? Yes indeed. Do I regret the experience? Not at all. Today I’m breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I can keep my phone on, eat and forego a life of crime to pay rent. Tomorrow, I’ll be more understanding of the next man’s similar plight and be able to offer a reassuring word that comes from a personal experience as opposed to an anecdotal teaching. Our trials and tribulations aren’t just about us. Our experiences give us a story to tell, a lesson to teach and a word to share with others. I’m humbled by the experience and thankful for the opportunity to share something with the world.

I’m not where I want to be just yet, but I have every confidence that I’m where God wants me to be right now. Thank you to all my family and friends for your love and support during these hard times. Just because things are looking up doesn’t mean I want you to stop loving and supporting me now. I’ve gotten this far with you and I don’t want to go another step without you. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Stay The Course

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.”
-Robert H. Schuller

Greetings folks! I’m back from my two week hiatus (vacation) with a vengeance. I spent part of last week with family and friends in South Florida and the other part in the Bahamas helping my friend get married. I’d like to congratulate my friend Marcus and his new bride Brandi on their nuptials. Now back to business.

Often times, I write about staying focused and determined on our goals and the task(s) at hand, and for good reason. Any mission, journey or effort without focus or determination is doomed to fail because every worthwhile mission or journey worth your effort will have its perils and pitfalls. But, what do you do when these inevitable roadblocks occur? What do you do when your bank account is shrinking and your bills are growing? What do you do when the food in your refrigerator is vanishing but your hunger isn’t? You stay the course.

It’s tough to stay calm in the midst of chaos. It’s difficult to keep your eye on the finish line when your legs hurt, your breathing is heavy and you’re pretty sure you may die before you cross it. But you must. I’ve encountered success in many different facets of my life and each time that I have, I encountered adversity both before and after I experienced that success. It’s the tough times that prepare us for the success and, in turn, make us more appreciative.

The majority of instant millionaires, i.e., athletes, entertainers and lottery winners, end up broke within five years of receiving their financial windfall or entering into retirement. This happens for a number of reasons: new found family members who want a piece of the pie; financial advisors who do more advising than they do work and just wasteful spending. The primary reason is that most are financially illiterate and aren’t prepared for receiving this large amount of money.

Think about it, everything that we do is in preparation of something bigger and greater to come. We learned to crawl before we walked and we had to walk before we could run. Before I became an attorney I had to graduate high school, then college, then law school, and then pass the bar. Nowhere in the history of mankind is there an occurrence where a baby ran before they walked and they didn’t allow Thurgood Marshall to become a licensed attorney without a degree. Every step that happens before you reach your intended destination is in preparation of reaching your goal.

We must not lose sight of our goals. We must not let the hardships and adversity we encounter deter us from reaching the success we seek. We cannot stop running shy of the finish line because to do so would be a failure and failure is not an option. Failure is a result of our inability to plan properly, stay focused, endure and press on. Dale Carnegie once stated, “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” Success may be developed from failure but only if we learn from it and continue to move forward.

Nothing worth having will ever be easy to acquire. Nothing worth keeping will ever be simple to hold on to. Nothing worth being proud of will ever be accomplished without great effort. Keep pushing, keep working, stay focused, stay determined, keep the faith and stay the course! Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

It Ain't Over

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.”

-George Bernard Shaw

Greetings folks! For those of you who are avid followers of this blog, you know that it comes out every Wednesday, like clockwork (except for when the clock doesn’t work). Given the timing of the election there were thoughts about me postponing the usual Wednesday 12:00 a.m. posting to a later time, or to the following day, so that I could comment on the election results. However, I opted against that so I could write about what I would like to write about and still make my deadline.

Now that the dust has settled, the votes are in, and we know who the next President of the United States will be, it’s time to get to work. Yes, I said it. Take a moment to let it in sink in then grab your 5-hour Energy and let’s get to work. In 2008, we were so proud of ourselves for having elected the first African-American President in the history of the United States that we decided to take the next four years off. We figured we had done enough and that President Obama could handle the rest. Boy, were we wrong.

The past four years have been filled with threats, in-fighting and stone-walling. We saw a bill designed to create millions of new jobs killed. We saw the country’s credit downgraded for the first time ever. We’ve seen politicians on both sides of the aisle struggle to do what’s best for this country—instead choosing to do what’s best for their pride and party and we suffered because of it. Every moment our elected leaders spend pointing fingers across the aisle is a moment an appropriations bill doesn’t get passed. Every minute congressmen spend plotting the president’s “presidential demise” is a minute not being spent on addressing the nation’s debt crisis. Every second that legislators spend filibustering and kicking out other congressmen for expressing their point of view on a national social issue is a second wasted.

We’ve been brainwashed into believing that all we have to do is vote or that we don’t’ have to vote at all, both of which are dangerous. Part of the beauty of democracy is the ability to hold elected officials accountable. We send our leaders to the capital, both state and national, with a mandate and threat to represent us and our issues or else, but then what do we do to follow up? Term limits serve as a reminder that one day they’ll need to face the people that elected them again, but until then what happens? The offices in their districts aren’t just for appearances, they exist so that even when the elected officials trot off to Tallahassee, Columbus, Richmond and Washington, D.C. they’re still within arms’ reach and ear shot of the people, their people.

Yes, our ballots are important. Of course your vote counts. But what counts just as much, if not more, is your voice the other 364 days of the year. If you have a problem with your state representative missing too many votes, call her. If you take issue with your Governor spending too much time playing partisan politics rather than helping his constituents, write him a letter. If you take issue with the fact that your Congressmen voted against a bill that would help our military servicemen, people who fight for our freedom daily, tweet, text, post, blog and talk about it. Let them know that you hear them, you see them and that they need to return the favor.

The internet isn’t just a place for porn, social networking and celebrity gossip. The internet is a place that allows you to see what your politician is doing and let your elected representative know, along with the world, that you like or dislike what he/she is doing. As we all know, political careers may be started and ended by social networking, but which one depends on us.

I hope you voted. I hope you let your vote be your voice and that you didn’t let the long lines, inclement weather or ridiculous wait times discourage you. If you didn’t vote then you don’t have any right to complain because you’ve just been complicit in your own demise. You have given someone else the right to make all of the decisions for you without even asking for a seat at the table to tell them how you feel. By no means is this system perfect. By no stretch of the imagination do the powers that be get it right all of the time. It’s a flawed system run by flawed people but it’s still the best system in the world. The system will run without you but it’s at its best with you.

Election day isn’t the only day for you to be heard. It’s just another day for you to be heard. I encourage you to stay abreast of what’s going on in your city, your county, your borough, your state, your country. I implore you to take an interest in what’s going on because someone is counting on it. Don’t give someone the power to ignore you with your apathy. Make your voice be heard on election day and every day. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Y.O.L.O.!

“You only live once that’s the motto [ ] Y.O.L.O.”

-Drake “The Motto”

Greetings folks! Welcome to another edition of “Black Man Speaks.” I’m your host, The Black Man. LOL. I kid, I kid. How cool would it be if I actually hosted a television or radio show? I think it would be fan-freaking-tastic. I’m going to add that to my “to do” list. But I digress.

Whether we’ve wanted to or not we’ve all heard “The Motto.” It could be due to the fact that it’s played 878 times a day on the radio. It could be because some rapper or another yelled it out during some inappropriate time at an awards show or church service. It very well could be the result of a caption you read on one of your friend’s or follower’s pictures of them enjoying massive amounts of overpriced liquor at a club or doing something extremely stupid that may later lead to their indictment. I like the motto; the slogan that is. However, I feel like it’s been misinterpreted, misconstrued, misused and overused, which in turn has devalued the term.

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of Y.O.L.O. isn’t a license to smoke, drink and live life recklessly. It’s not an excuse to do something you would otherwise regret but because you yell “Y.O.L.O.” afterwards excuses your behavior. No. The concept of Y.O.L.O. is a license to chase your dreams, pursuit your goals and enjoy life because we only have one life to live.

Success requires patience, hard work and perseverance to weather the storm and pass the test. Y.O.L.O. says forget waiting my turn, screw the weather and I don’t care about the test and says “it’s my money and I need it now.” You need it now to buy these bottles, to cop this new outfit, get the new iPhone and play make-believe as you pretend you got it when you really don’t. Brian Tracy said, “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking ‘What’s in it for me?’’ Y.O.L.O. people are the unsuccessful people Mr. Tracy referenced. They’re unsure of what the definition of success means and interpret it as an accumulation of stuff and good times. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the finer things in life. There is no problem with enjoying yourself. The problem comes when that is your sole purpose in life and you’ve lost focused on bettering yourself and those around you.

Albert Pike stated, “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” Eventually the bottles will empty, the clothes will become outdated and worn and your phone will stop working. Then what will you have to show for it? What will you have leftover?

We have to get up from in front of the Xbox and the PS3 and make a change. We have to take our iPods out of our ears, or at least turn the volume down, and make a change. We need to be the change we want to see in the world, because if we wait around for someone else to do it we may be waiting forever. We have to understand that the true meaning of Y.O.L.O. is to do everything you possibly can to help yourself and others. It means that you go all out to be successful, enjoy the ride as much as humanly possible and give a hand up whenever you can. It means don’t live life recklessly because you only live once, “Y.O.L.O.!” Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Hold On

“Hold on…it’s going to get better!”

-Rev. Marvin C. Lue, Jr.-Pastor of Trinity C.M.E. Church (Miami, FL)

Greetings folks! Every Wednesday my friend and pastor of my childhood church, Rev. Marvin Lue, Jr. sends out an inspirational message called “Winsday’s Word.” They’re inspirational messages intended to help get you over the hump and to the end of the week. I’ve been receiving these messages for quite some time now and it’s one of the few texts I receive that I automatically stop what I’m doing to read. Most times his messages span several texts. His most recent text only took one and it read, “Hold on…it’s going to get better!”

If you listen to any news channel all you hear is doom and gloom. If it’s not the economy, it’s foreign affairs. If it’s not foreign affairs it’s an attack on women. If it’s not an attack on women, it’s an attack on the middle class. We look around and we see the numbers. We see the price of gas and groceries ballooning while some of us see our bank accounts and paychecks shrinking. And we’re scared. We’re scared that things won’t get better. We’re scared that things won’t change. We’re scared that we’ll be stuck in a rut with no place to go but down. But in the words of Rev. Lue, “Hold on…it’s going to get better!”

Last week I wrote about living life “Inside-Out” by not allowing what happens to us to get inside us (Inside Out, 10/17/12). We cannot control external factors but we can control how we respond to them. The reaction that we exhibit to external influences begins internally. It begins by deciding who we are and what we want. When you make up your mind about who you are no one can change that because there is power in identity.

The common misconception is that we must discover who we are and that this will be effectuated through college, trips abroad and adversity. Education, world travel and conflict add depth and complexity to the canvass of our lives. They reveal pieces of the puzzle, but they do not solve the puzzle entirely. You don’t discover who you are, you decide who you are.

Decide that you want to be an attorney and discover what type based on your preferences. Decide that you want to be a teacher and discover what subject area based on your strengths. Decide that you want to go to college and decide where based on your finances, desired major and whether or not it’s close enough for your parents to send food, yet far enough away to discourage unannounced and impromptu visits.

If you decide that you want to be a leader, strong, successful, a difference-maker or independent you must decide to “hold on.” Every leader has dealt with conflict. Every successful person has encountered adversity. Every difference maker has had their share of trials and tribulations. One of the things all of these people have in common is that they have all held on to overcome them.

Decide who you are, what you want and where you want to go. Then resolve to “Hold On” in the face of adversity, hardships and strife and I promise you it will get better. Until next time, Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Inside Out

“There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Greetings folks! Sometimes life sucks. Not all the time. Just sometimes. Sometimes, the things that happen to us during the course of a 24 hour period cannot be explained with words that are more than 4 letters. Sometimes, life can be so unbearable, so unrelenting, and so confusing that there are no words in your vocabulary to adequately articulate your thoughts. Welcome to Life!

In this journey through life it’s not a question of if you’ll encounter setbacks and roadblocks, but rather when will they come and how many will there be. Any person who tells you that they’ve never had a bad day is a liar and the truth isn’t in ‘em. Even Jesus had bad days (see Jesus flipping tables and the day He got nailed to a tree). Yet, even He managed to stay positive.

In my post last week, ("The One” 10/10/12) I talked about the inevitability of unfortunate events in our lives and the need to stay positive in the midst of madness. With this acceptance comes the mindset not to allow what happens to us to get inside us. Once we understand that we can’t control the weather, the traffic, or the stupid things people sometimes say, we’re able to deal. Until we’re able to accept the certainty of adversity, we’ll never be equipped or ready to live life to the fullest.

My high school football coach, Coach Walt Frazier, always used to say, “Opportunity favors the prepared.” You can be given the opportunity to start, score a touchdown or lead your team to victory, but if you aren’t prepared then that opportunity is wasted. In sports, you prepare by training, studying and practicing so that when the game comes it’s just another rep. In life, you prepare much the same way except you probably don’t need an angry man/woman yelling so close to your ear that you’re sure you may suffer some hearing loss.

Inexorably, during our lives, we will experience death, illness, heartache and pain. Undoubtedly, we will experience these emotions many times over before it’s all said and done. But, we can’t allow the negativity that accompanies these unfortunate events to permeate our core. We can’t allow what happens to us to get inside us.

Take, for example, the person who has experienced heartache a time or ten. This person has two choices: 1. Cry a river, build a bridge and get over or it; or 2. Swear off dating and become a “Love Hater.” The former understands that while it’s unfortunate that they had their heart broken, one door closing leaves room for another door to be open where they may find love and happiness with someone else. However, the latter may never find love again because they walk around blind-folded, believing that walking in the dark, unaware of their surroundings, is better than walking with full sight if it means they avoid the risk of feeling the pain and agony of heart break again. What the “Love Hater” fails to realize is that Alfred Lord Tennyson may have been on to something when he said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

There are plusses and minuses for every situation. Take for instance, the person who has had a bird defecate on their head. For them, locking themselves in the house and never going out is a good way to avoid ever being pooped on again. However, while it solves one problem it brings about the problem of never being able to feel the sun’s warmth on your skin again, never being able to have a snowball fight and the eventuality of growing an unkempt beard and being labeled a weirdo.

I’m a firm believer in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ statement that “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.” The adversity we have encountered has given us character. The setbacks we have survived have made us experienced. And the hangovers we have suffered have taught us our limits. So, next time you get down, remember that everything happens for a reason. Don’t let what happens to you get inside you. Instead, let what’s inside you dictate your outcome and live life “Inside Out.” Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

The One

The storm is on the horizon

I’m standing here alone

Got a pistol on my hip

And it's gon' be some sh*t

If you want it then bring it on

See I'm a motherfu**in' soldier

And I’mma be here till it’s done

And when they asking who I'm is, sh*t

You just tell them that I’m the one.

-Kanye West ft. 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Marsha Ambrosius “The One”

Greetings folks! It’s been two weeks since my last post and boy am I glad to be back. My two week hiatus was spent moving, packing, unpacking, cleaning and praying that it’ll be all over soon. Well it’s over now. Not really. I’ve just cleared a path through the boxes to my desk so that I can sit down and write this post. But you have got to know that the separation was killing me.

Over the course of the past few weeks, I have noticed that inspiration is everywhere. It’s not relegated to sermons, motivational speeches and Oprah quotes. You can find inspiration in a conversation with a friend, from a television show or movie, or in a song. The inspiration for today’s post comes from Kanye West’s song, “The One.” I was on the treadmill running when the song came on and it spoke to me and said, “Stay confident.”

At some point or another we all get down on ourselves. Whether it’s because of a bad grade, love troubles, or money lost betting on the Seahawks vs. Packers game, it happens. It’s inevitable. It’s ok to be down sometimes. It’s a reminder that we aren’t perfect and that we still have work to do in our continual quest to grow and be better than we once were. However, the key is not to stay down because there is no way we can ever reach the top if we are lying down on our backs.

Lately, it’s been a struggle maintaining the happiness needed to live life abundantly. Let me clarify. I haven’t thought about committing suicide, turning to drugs or alcohol, or doing harm to myself. What I mean is that in order to live a good life, most of our time must be spent enjoying it. No amount of money or material things will ever satisfy you if you aren’t happy with yourself. While “stuff” may make you happy for a period of time, that happiness is fleeting. The happiness material things bring us is temporal. You have to be happy with yourself and your life so that regardless of whether you live in a mansion or a 1 bedroom apartment, you live your life like it’s golden.

I’d be lying to you if I told you that things as of late have been going according to my master plan and there is a logical explanation for this. In my master plan, I never took into account adversity, hardships, or obstacles. And my master plan didn’t fit God’s. I know what you’re thinking, “you’re an idiot” and you’re entitled to your opinion. I didn’t take these things into account because they’ve never been issues for me.

By no means has my life been easy up to now. I’ve struggled. However, because I’ve rarely ever been one to doubt my ability to overcome any and everything, most of my trials in life appeared to be open book quizzes as opposed to year-end make or break exams. So in some respects, my success gave me a false sense of invincibility. It’s funny when I read it on the screen that my success helped make me unable to cope with the hardships, but it’s true.

To some degree, I understand what Tiger Woods feels like; minus the women, hundreds of millions of dollars and a golf game most people would kill for. I mean I understand how he feels to be so successful at nearly everything you do then all of sudden not so much. Except mine is on a smaller scale; a much smaller scale. In as much as he had to learn a new golf swing, adjust to a new caddy, process the divorce and live with not being with his children as much, Tiger had to adjust to not winning, which is a HUGE adjustment. In his long climb back towards the top, I believe he’s learning how to win again and as a byproduct, to be more appreciative of it.

I’ve learned a lot of things over the past few months and I’m still learning. I’m learning to be appreciative of every opportunity that comes across my desk and not to take anything for granted. I’m learning humility, perseverance, patience, to put more faith in God than I do in myself and a million and one ways to cook chicken. Initially, I lamented my situation and prayed for a quick resolution. However, I realize that there was no way else to learn these lessons except by this trial period I’m enduring. I welcome the pain, the adversity and the test because I know the only way to be successful tomorrow is to learn the hard lessons today.

One thing that keeps me going is remembering that “I’m the one.” I’m the leader, the attorney, the motivational speaker, the teacher, the brother, the friend, the servant and so long as I continue to believe in myself, when the darkness fades and the sun shines I can just say “bring it on.” So when you’re down, questioning your existence, your purpose and your calling, never lose sight of the fact that adversity builds character and that this moment will pass just like all the others. When the world knocks you down, and believe me it will, have the strength, the courage and conviction to get back up. When you get up and the people ask “who are you?” tell them that “you’re the one!”

Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

The Journey

Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine. –Unknown

Greetings folks! Sometimes writing these weekly posts can be difficult, but most times not so much. One reason is that I draw inspiration from wherever it may come. It may be a line from a song, a scene from a movie, or a conversation with a friend or a stranger, and most times it’s my life. The most recent place I drew inspiration from was Twitter. I was on Twitter and saw a classmate and friend of mine post something I found to be very profound. His tweet read “Don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine”-Unknown via @Humble83. This quote got me to thinking about my own situation.

Lately, I’ve been sharing with you my journey to the light. However, recently, I’ve been going through a dark patch in the journey. I’ve been sharing to relieve tension and stress and to hopefully help someone, somewhere, who may be going through the same or similar circumstances. I learned a long time ago that our struggles aren’t just about us. Yes, we are the feature characters in these scenes of life and we experience them to achieve personal growth, but we also experience them so that we may help others. We can never help a friend deal with the pain of losing a loved one if we’ve never felt that pain. How can we help someone deal with the anguish of losing a job and the subsequent financial insecurity, if we ourselves have never experienced them? We can’t. And what good is it to go through the ups and downs of life if there is no lesson to be learned and none to be shared?

The view outside my window hasn’t been particularly great lately. It’s been cloudy, with thunderstorms and lightning all around me and no fair weather in sight. When you look outside and all you see are clouds in either direction it’s tough to imagine that the sun will ever show its face again. However, we know that eventually the rain will stop and the sun will come out again. This is the faith and fervor that we use to maintain hope that the picnic that got rained out today may be held tomorrow. This same faith and fervor should be applied to our daily lives because everything happens for a reason.

The journey to happiness and the light at the end of the tunnel is filled with dark shadows, tunnels, thunderstorms and supernatural occurrences beyond our control. But, just because we can’t see the sun today doesn’t mean we won’t be able to see the sun tomorrow. Just the other day I was getting down on myself because things weren’t moving quite as fast I would have liked or as smoothly as I planned. Because things weren’t going my way and it was dark outside I lost sight of the constant that just as sure as the sun will set every day, it will rise every day too. I realized that I began to accept the stormy skies as my destination rather than see them as a patch of bad weather on the journey to sunshine.

Dark clouds will come, the rains will come and sometimes we will get wet. We can either go get a raincoat, an umbrella and continue the journey or walk along the path getting drenched. We can play in the rain and take it for what it is or sit inside and sulk. The choice is ours. I choose to grab my umbrella and enjoy the ride as much as possible, knowing that eventually it’ll all be over and that I’ll be better because of it.

I know that despite my decision to be optimistic and accepting of life’s bad weather things will not be easy. Just because you accept the inevitability of a hurricane or a tornado doesn’t mean that you have to be happy about it. It just means that you plan for the worse, hope for the best and if/when disaster does occur, you pick up the pieces and keep it moving. So here’s to choosing to keep moving on this journey, accepting that it won’t be easy and being resolved to reach my destination no matter what. What will you choose? Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Vote or Shut Up!

“Every country has the government it deserves.”

Josephe de Maistre-French writer and diplomat

Greetings folks! Now that the conventions have come to a close, the parties have made their pitch about who they are and who they want you to believe the other guys are, it’s time to make a decision. It’s time to watch the high priced ads about whether this candidate will or will not be available to answer a hypothetical call at 3 am. It’s time to listen to the candidates tell you that the other party doesn’t have your best interests at heart and that they killed a woman, her baby and the dog that witnessed it. It’s time to listen to the candidates tell you about a law that was enacted that will bankrupt you and spread disease and pestilence to you and your entire family despite the fact that no such law exists. It’s time to take the facts, not the propaganda, the misinformation, or the stuff they call facts, sit down and make an informed decision. Folks it’s time to vote.

I’ll be honest, I’m very disturbed, well pissed would be a better term, about the number of celebrities, particularly in the African-American community, who have publicly stated that they have not, do not, and will not vote. I know some of you may be thinking “it’s a free country and every person has a right to do or not do whatever they want.” This is true. So long as the exercise of your rights, privileges and immunities don’t infringe upon those of others you have the right to do whatever you want. For example, you have the right to listen to Jay-Z, Maroon 5, Florence and the Machine or Jimmy Buffet. However, you do not have the right to listen to them at the highest possible decibel, at 3 o’clock in the morning, in surround sound. There are limits—boundaries to our rights so that others are not negatively affected by the exercise of said rights. One of the rights that should never be abridged, amended or infringed upon is the right to vote.

Voting is one of the most sacred components of a democracy. It is the opportunity to elect the officials who will represent us in OUR government. These are the people who will let Congress know that District 24 in Florida needs new roads. These are the people who will tell their fellow congressmen that Mississippi needs help with improving their struggling school system. These are the people who will speak for you, act for you, represent you and legislate on your behalf. Whom we choose matters.

There is no comprehensible or defensible reason as to why a person- rich, poor, famous or infamous- who may legally vote, chooses not to. The excuse that “my vote doesn’t count” is just that, an excuse. Recent history informs us that every vote counts (see, Bush/Gore 2000). The excuse that “you’ve been wronged before by politicians” is not a good one either. I’ve been wronged by women before but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop dating them. It means that I’ll learn from my mistakes and choose wiser next time. The excuse “we’re just choosing from the lesser of two evils” doesn’t fly either. None of us are perfect and neither are our candidates. We may demand more and hope for more, but we cannot be shocked and in awe when they fall short of our lofty expectations. The best and brightest of our time have all had their flaws, King, Malcolm, Kennedy and Clinton. Their mistakes don’t make them evil, their mistakes make them human.  Josh Billings once said, “Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.”  We should judge our leaders and politicians based on all the good they do. While they may have engaged in some morally reprehensible behavior, they still acted for what was best for society.

I have no misconceptions about our government. I know that it’s not perfect. I understand that some of the people who represent us in government are crooked, corrupt and unaware of the power of Twitter. However, just because the system isn’t perfect doesn’t mean you scrap the whole thing. That would be like trashing your car because it doesn’t fly or come with an espresso machine. No, we ride the horse that we’ve been given until we can find a better one in hopes that we may win the race.  Just as there’s no way to win that race without participating, there’s no way to change the government when we refuse to get involved in it. Democracy is truly one of the greatest forms of government in the world because it allows people to choose the government that they want. George Bernard Shaw once said, “Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” If we do not participate then we have no right to complain.

Who you vote for depends largely on your morals, values and your station in life so I won’t tell you whom to vote for. Yes, I feel strongly about one candidate over another whose name rhymes with Orama, but you don’t have to vote for my candidate. I’d be happy with you just voting. For all the ills that reside in our government, many of them could be cured if more of us voted. Too many people risked life, limb and freedom for you to exercise that right so voting should be a duty, a requirement, an obligation rather than a choice.

At the outset of our great nation voting was a privilege that was extended only to land-owning protestant white men. Women, Native Americans, religious minorities, slaves, and indentured servants were excluded. While the franchise was extended to African Americans and Mexican Americans in the 19^th century, physical intimidation, threats, economic reprisals and Jim Crow laws prevented the right from truly being extended to most of these individuals. By 1910, fewer than 20% of African American citizens in the Southern states voted. In some southern states, fewer than 2% voted. It wasn’t until the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950’s and 1960’s, almost a century later, that progress was made in ensuring the right to vote as guaranteed by the 15^th Amendment. Despite playing a key role in the Civil Rights Movement, women didn’t gain the right to vote until 1920 after the passage of the 19^th Amendment.

Many of us, because of our skin color, gender, race, ethnicity or religious views, have only enjoyed the right to vote for less than a hundred years, despite living in a country that is more than 200/400 years old.* The right and privilege to vote was born out of strife, blood, sweat and tears; too much for us not to exercise it. As the election nears I urge you to register to vote if you haven’t already done so. If you need an ID to vote, go get one. If you need a ride to the polls, go find one. If you need help understanding the issues, go look them up so that you can make an informed decision. At the end of the day, if we end up with a government we don’t like and that doesn’t work, we only have ourselves to blame. For we have just gotten the government that we deserve. So we have a choice; either Vote or Shut Up! Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

*(200 if you go back to the date of the Constitution, 400 if you go back to the date of the first successful English settlement).

Scared of the Dark

And even when my days were the bluest

I never ran from adversity, instead I ran to it.

Fear ain’t in the heart of me I learned just do it.

You get courage in your fears right after you go through it.

-T.I. “Good Life”

Greetings folks! It’s been one week since I’ve made the move from Miami to Washington, D.C. and so far so good. That isn’t to say that things will always be a bed of roses. After all, winter hasn’t arrived yet. For the week that I’ve been here, so far so good. I do miss my family and friends back home, but that’s a given. What’s striking is the large amount of clarity and purpose I’ve felt during this past week, which is a stark contrast to the overwhelming lack of clarity and purpose I experienced prior to now. For the avid readers of my blog you know that I’m a well organized, scripted individual, who always has a plan. This summer has been like an unforeseen script re-write. However, instead of asking for a re-write of a problematic scene or two I felt like God was asking me to re-write my life, which needless to say was a bit scary.

I felt like my life was in the dark and to be perfectly honest, the darkness is what scares me the most. Not the actual lack of light, but the proverbial darkness, the not knowing. Most of my friends are like me in the sense that almost all of us have always had a plan and have worked that plan to near perfection throughout our lives. And I, like them, loathe the unknown. When there is something I even remotely feel like I don’t know enough about, I go research it until I become comfortable with it.

When it came time for me to move on from my last job, for the first time in my life there wasn’t an immediate space filler. For the first time in my 28 years on this earth there wasn’t something for me to do. There wasn’t a plan. There was nothing. I felt just like that 5 year old who’s terrified of what lies in wait in the unknown crevices of the dark; scared. Here I was at the corner of WTF and What Next and I had no idea how to get back on the road to success. You see it’s nearly impossible to decipher what lays in wait in the dark. It could be a gold bar or a rabid dog. However, most of us seem to imagine that what lies in the dark is nothing but ghosts, ghouls, goblins and misfortune. We assume that if we can’t see it and decipher its intentions that it can’t be something that will do us any good. Honestly the chances of there being something good out there are exactly the same probability that it may be something bad.

How many lottery winners knew they were going to win the lottery before they were announced the winner? How many pitchers knew they would pitch a perfect game before the final out in the 9^th inning? How many of us knew we had met the love of our lives before we actually met them? (If you answered yes to any of these questions please email me the winning lottery numbers for next week. Please and thank you.) In a sense, these things all came out of the dark. There is no way to know certain things until they actually occur. There is no way to determine that your house will survive the hurricane, tornado, mudslide, blizzard, or tsunami the other houses on your block didn’t. As such, you plan for the worst and hope for the best.

This past summer I did some soul searching. No, seriously, I did some soul searching. I did a total re-evaluation of my goals, desires, hopes, dreams, wants, needs and priorities. I figured out all the great things about me, and I also looked at all the less than stellar things about me. One of the lists was substantially longer than the other but I won’t divulge which one. What I did with those lists was find ways to eliminate the negative attributes and accentuate the positive ones and use them in my quest to find my purpose. It may sound crazy, but experiencing the chaos that descended upon my life this past summer was the best thing to ever happen to me. In that chaos, that hurt, that pain, the unknown, the darkness, I found purpose. I found out what I need to do with my life. I can’t speak for what I’ll need to do at 50 or even 35, but I know what I need to do right now.

As I traverse this path to success, admittedly I’m still in the dark about a lot of things so I don’t have ALL the answers. However, I at least have a flashlight so I can see what’s right in front of me. From my view I can see the light at the end of the tunnel which fuels me to run faster and harder towards my goals or get a Lamborghini so I can get there faster.  

Each experience in life, challenge or controversy, is an opportunity to write a new chapter in our lives. Regardless of how great or terrible the previous chapter was, it has absolutely no bearing on the next. Yes, what you did in the past and who you were before has shaped you into who you are today, but it doesn’t it mean you can’t be someone different with different experiences tomorrow. Don’t be afraid of the dark. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Don’t be afraid to pick up that pen or pencil and write a new chapter in your life.

Oprah Winfrey once said, “I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it.” So here I am, with my pen in hand, trusting the process and ready to write the next chapter in my book. I’m unsure exactly how and when this story will end but I’m excited about the part I’m penning now. Pick up your pen and let your trials and tribulations be your muse and write away. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Bye Baby

“Bye baby, I guess you know why I walked away.”
-Nas “Bye Baby”

Greetings folks! Every week I begin my post with my customary greeting. What if I skipped it and just got right into my post? What if we met on the street and I decided not to acknowledge your presence? Would you be upset? If so, would your anger be a result of you being hung up on greetings? Is it because it’s proper etiquette to say “hello” and “goodbye” or is it something else?

When a loved one passes away it’s tough. No matter what the circumstances may have been it’s tough to process. You’ve just lost a friend, a family member and in some ways a part of you, which will never be replaced. It’s even tougher when you don’t have the opportunity to say goodbye. I was watching the season finale of “Suits” (which is a great show by the way) and one of the main characters, Mike Ross, lost his grandmother. Given her age and health her death didn’t come as much of a surprise. Mike, however, took it very hard. Among other things, Mike was upset that he never got a chance to say goodbye to his grandmother. But why? Why do we need to, want to, expect to be able to say goodbye before someone passes on to the great beyond? Why do we feel like the circle of life isn’t complete unless and until we’re able to bid one last farewell?

Well it could be that goodbye means the end. It signals permanence. It’s much different than “see you tomorrow” or “catch you soon.” No, goodbye means if I don’t see you for a while at least I was able to say goodbye. However, perhaps we should be more concerned with what goes on between the greetings than the greetings themselves. We should be more focused on what we do with the time, the moments and the opportunities between “hello” and “goodbye” than the actual greetings themselves.

Yes, we feel better when people speak when they enter and exit a room. Yes we feel better when our significant other kisses us on the way out the door to work. Yes there is a sense of completeness when we get a handshake, a high-five or a hug after we’ve finished having dinner with a friend. But what if it doesn’t happen? Does it belittle all of the moments that came before it? Does it erase all of the memories that were made before that neglected closing? No it doesn’t. When our friends, loved ones, or co-workers are dead and gone what we’ll carry with us won’t be the “hello’s” and the “goodbyes” unless the greetings were done with fireworks and cheerleaders. What we’ll carry with us will be all of the moments, good, bad and indifferent, that occurred in between.

As last school year began to close there was a lot of uncertainty as to whether I would return to my post. My attempts to gain clarity were thwarted at every turn and met with more uncertainty. What I didn’t want and what I couldn’t allow to happen was the school year to end without saying goodbye to my students. To me, leaving them without saying goodbye was the ultimate sign of disrespect. Despite how nonsensical it may have appeared to say “goodbye” without actually knowing that I wasn’t coming back, it was something I felt compelled to do. Saying goodbye gave me closure and allowed me to move forward.

As I prepare to leave Miami (again) I was fearful that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye. I was scared that the people I love and care about the most wouldn’t get an opportunity for me to tell them how much I love them, how much I care about them and much I will miss them. I came to the realization that I’m going to forget about saying goodbye. I’m not going to worry about whether I’ll be able to shake hands with or hug every person that I care about here in South Florida. No, what I’m going to do is carry with me all of the memories with the people I’m leaving behind who I may not be able to say goodbye to and hope that this post will suffice.

Undoubtedly I’ll be back. High airline prices, TSA and a “no fly” rule couldn’t keep me from visiting. In the mean time, so long, farewell Auf wiedersehenm good night and goodbye South Florida and all of the wonderful friends, family, students, and co-workers I’m leaving behind. I love you, I’ll miss you, but I’ll always be a phone call, email, flight, tweet or Facebook message away. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Living A Lie

“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”
-Lao Tzu

Greetings folks. Last week’s post (Death of a Superhero 8/15/12) was one of my most personal to date. I don’t recall being that transparent with you since my earlier posts. I’ve also realized that it’s one of my darker posts. It’s where I was at the time, how I felt and I won’t apologize for my feelings. “There mine and you’ll never get a hold of them.” ($5 to the person who can tell me what song this references).

As I begin to write the lead-in to last week’s post I saw that it was too long. I saw that what I had actually written was the beginning of another post—this one, which is a follow-up to last week’s post. I don’t typically (ever) write posts in series format, but I do write what comes to me and this is it.

There comes a time when we all have to embrace the truth we never knew existed. For some that may be the true story about an absent parent, for others it may be the existence of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. For me it was the death of my alter ego Superman. Think back to that time when you first found out that despite the stories your family told you that your dad isn’t Satan incarnate. Remember when you first found out that Santa Claus was really some fat guy who took pictures in the mall? Think back to that moment when you saw Spongebob take his head off at that birthday party and you realized that he really doesn’t live in a pineapple under the sea. Hell, he isn’t even a real sponge! Those were hard pills to swallow weren’t they? But why?

Coming face to face with a false reality is like Neo finding out about the Matrix. It’s tough because no one likes being lied to, no one enjoys not knowing and because we realized that we’ve been living in the dark. Yet, knowing this, it’s hard to release that false reality. Live in the dark long enough and your eyes adjust making it difficult for you to handle sunlight. We’ve lived in the false reality so long that we’ve grown comfortable living there and the lie we govern our life by is gospel. However, like Neo, when confronted with the existence of the Matrix we have a choice. We can take the red pill and continue to be rats trapped in a maze, content with our daily existence. Or we can take the blue pill and challenge and confront everything that we’ve been taught.

Realizing that I’m not a superhero has been a tough adjustment. I’ve been told my whole life that I’m special, that I’m different and better than most, which was reinforced by the awards, the accolades, accomplishments and my ego. I wasn’t human. I was superhuman. To wake up one day and realize that you aren’t invincible, that you aren’t the fastest guy on the planet, that you aren’t the smartest person in the room, that you aren’t perfect when you’ve been taught these things as gospel is a frightening discovery.

Initially I did what most people do, I denied it. I hid from it. I continued to put on my cape and tights and go about trying to save the world not realizing that every time I left the house and took on more than I should without a vest, superhuman strength, or invincibility I was endangering my life. Carrying the burdens of others was beginning to hurt so much because I’m not a superhero and as bad I want to be one, I’m not.

Many of us lie to ourselves on a daily basis. Some of your lies may not be as bad as mine some may be worse. Some of you tell yourself everyday that you’re perfectly healthy and you’re morbidly obese, suffering from hypertension and diabetes. Some of you tell yourself that you’re God’s gift to mankind when inside you’re as black as midnight. Some of you tell yourself that you’re going to heaven when you haven’t been to church since Mother’s Day, said a prayer since breakfast or opened your bible since you were looking for the money you stuffed in it.

I’m not judging or condemning you, I have problems of my own to deal with. I’m encouraging you to stop living the lie. The lie we live makes it hard to see, hard to breathe, hard to live. When you aren’t comfortable with you, in your own skin, in your own shoes, how can anyone else be? How can you ever truly be happy? The lies are a barrier to success, to true love and happiness. Level with yourself. Confront your lies and your demons. Deal with them and move forward.

In closing I leave you with this, Mahatma Gandhi once said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” If you’re living a lie what does that make you and what does that say about your life? Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

The Death of Superman

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Greetings folks! Times are hard and the rent is due even for The Diplomat. The past few months of my life have been a whirlwind of an experience both professionally and personally. I detailed some of the professional issues (I Did It My Way 7/19/12) I’ve encountered as of yet, but it only tells part of the story. I try to keep my private life in the dark from you, rarely mentioning the names of some of the people I reference in these posts. I’ve always prided myself on being able to rise above my circumstances and stand tall despite the chaos and controversy that surrounds me. However, admittedly that has been difficult as of late. My cape is tattered, there are chinks in my armor and I can’t fly anymore. I’m hungry, I’m tired and not sure if I can play superhero anymore. I think this superhero might be dead.

Sitting up high on my perch writing my morning messages and my weekly blog posts is growing more and more difficult. It’s hard to advise, guide and inspire others to do more when you’re battling your own demons. It’s tough to console others during their tough moments when you yourself are in mourning.

This most recent leg of the journey that I’m currently on has been challenging, heart wrenching and at times has knocked me down. It’s one thing to fight a battle at work, at home, with family, or with love. It’s damn near death defying to do all at the same time. Combine that with a bout with a virus that put me down for over a week and you have beleaguered ex-superhero searching for answers he has yet to find.

I’ve always been a man of faith. Anyone who knows me, or reads a couple of posts can figure that out. But what do the faithful do when their faith is challenged? What do the strong do when they feel weak? What do the superheroes do once they’ve lost their power? These are the questions I’ve been seeking to answer as of late because frankly I’ve been at a lost.

I’ve enjoyed success at nearly everything that I’ve ever done. I’ve always been the best, one of the brightest and supremely confident that everything would work out because it always has. Yet given my recent circumstances it’s not so easy to strap on that confidence anymore. It’s tough to put on that mask and head out into the world as if everything is alright. They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. It would take me all day and several posts to list all of the problems that I have so I’ll just start with one. I’m coming to grips with my humanness. I’m beginning to realize that I’m not really Superman, that I can’t fly, that I’m not faster than a locomotive, and that I don’t have x-ray vision. That realization leads to questions about what to do with my cape, my tights and that “S” on my chest. What will my day be like now? How do I go on? What’s next? What do I tell the people?

I’ve been so much to my family, friends, co-workers, students and strangers. For so long I’ve felt like their dependence on me was liken to a relationship an addict has with their dealer. As of late I’ve found just how addicted I am to the relationship and have acknowledge the co-dependence. The desire to be wanted, appreciated, desired, needed is a high I get like a coke fiend gets from his hit. I’ve realized that as broad as my shoulders are they aren’t broad enough. As strong as my back is, it’s not strong enough. As confident and secure as I’ve been my entire life…I’m not sure it’s there anymore. I want to keep the faith but honestly it’s hard. It’s like watching the building burn down around you and staying positive you’re going to make it out alive. It’s not impossible, just incredibly difficult.

I don’t know. I’d like to continue the good fight, sojourn on but I’ve lost sight of what comes next so making that next step isn’t so easy anymore. I guess I’ve sort of loss my way and I’m desperately trying to find it. I’m trying to muster up the strength, the courage, the faith to take that next step despite the fact I can’t see the stairs.

I’m encouraged by the sunrise this morning and the sunset this evening. Encouraged that so long as those two occurrences happen every day I have a chance to be good, to be better, to be great. I’m unsure of where this road I’m travelling now leads me. I don’t know who I’ll meet along the way and who will be traveling alongside me. I have no idea what awaits me at the end of this journey and I’m slightly excited. What once used to be a fear of the unknown has now been supplanted with a childlike curiosity and fervor as to what happens next. I can’t see the whole stairway. I can barely see the first step, but I have faith it’s going to work out.

Here goes nothing…

Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Make That Change

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
-Andy Warhol

Greeting folks! We often talk about “turning the page” or “moving on to the next one” rarely realizing the difficulty in actually putting this plan into action. Think about it. How long it did it take you to break up with the ex you KNEW was no good? How long did it take you to leave that job you knew was raising your blood pressure and may have led you to a murderous rampage at your office? How long did it take you to move out of that apartment you knew was going to give you asbestos from the mold? It’s easy to talk about it but much harder to be about it. It’s easier to complain and wallow in our pit of self-pity and shame than it is to actually make a plan and then get out.

I can definitely attest to the difficulty of saying you’re going to move on and then actually moving on. For months I talked about leaving my last job. For months I discussed the difficulties of doing my job under the constraints that were present. For months I said I couldn’t take it anymore but I still stayed. Then came a point when I realized that I had to practice what I preached. I realized that I couldn’t advocate people getting out of a bad situation and finding a better one if I wasn’t doing the same thing in my life. Then I made the decision to move on.

A lot of times there is a large amount of guilt associated with the decision to leave. We may not want to leave that ex because of all the good times that we had, or how they were there for us when we needed them most, so we want to be there for them through these tough times. Or we don’t want to leave our job because no job is perfect and we like our co-workers too much. No job or relationship is perfect. However, if you’re in a relationship where you’re no longer happy and you’ve tried to rectify the situation and it doesn’t work, it’s time to move on. If your job does not bring you fulfillment and you have to drag yourself out of bed every day to get there, then you need to make a plan to find other employment. Don’t just up and leave unless you’re independently wealthy. Don’t let guilt or memories hold you in a bad situation.

No one deserves to wake up every day next to someone who doesn’t make them happy. No one deserves to spend 8 hours or more at a job that does nothing more than bring a paycheck, headaches and stress. Don’t feel guilty about your decision to move on. Once you’ve analyzed it and made the decision, feel confident that you’ve made the right decision.

Moving forward is a part of life. If we were who were 10 years ago we wouldn’t be able to enjoy our life now. We wouldn’t be prepared to. As I’ve said before, anything that isn’t growing is dying. If you aren’t growing in your relationship, at your job or in any other thing in your life, you need to assess the situation and fix it. And if that means moving on, be prepared to do so. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!

I Did It My Way

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain.

My friend I’ll say it clear

I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full

I traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way.

Frank Sinatra-“My Way”

Greetings folks! I come to you with mixed emotions as I pen this post. I come to with a heavy heart filled with sadness and joy, pain and pride, tears and laughter. I write this to say that I’m moving on.

In the Spring of 2010 I decided to relocate back to South Florida to take a post as the Lead Teacher and Director for the Center for Legal and Public Affairs Magnet at Miami Carol City Senior High School, my alma matter. I made this decision in part because of my desire and need to be close to my family during a time when they needed me most and because the program was in need of new leadership.  While this was never a career move I saw myself making at the outset of my career, it was the perfect opportunity at the perfect time.

I loosely chronicled this adventure through my blog posts over the past two years but these posts only tell a fraction of the story. My friends, family and former co-workers truly know the pain, anguish, trials and tribulations I experienced at the outset of being a fresh face in an old place and trying to inspire, teach and lead. There were some challenges. Replacing the outgoing director, no matter how well liked or unliked this person may have been, is always a challenge.

The beginning was tenuous, stressful and quite frankly rough. The first few months I worked from 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. faithfully. On Fridays I would reward myself and leave no later than 3:30 or 4:00 p.m. Over time the hours didn’t shorten much.

When I took over the program it was on the verge of being cut. The program had taken in very few applications, there was no excitement or fervor surrounding the program from the surrounding community, faculty, or staff and it was relatively unknown even amongst people who worked there. I’m reminded of a visit one of the magnet liaisons made to the school to monitor my progress. When she got to the office and asked for the magnet lead teacher, many of the front office staff were unaware of both my presence and my program. The liaison, Ms. Davis, a person I count as a friend and mentor to this day, quickly informed me of what my first point of action was. It was to buy the front office staff doughnuts so that they would know my name. From that day forward I stopped by the front office every morning, whether I needed to or not, to say “hello”, smile and inquire about what was new. This informed them of who I was, what I looked like and that I cared.

Over the next two years myself, the faculty, staff, administration, and most importantly the students, would venture down the path of improving our magnet program.

The Situation/The Plan

When I came on board in August 2010 the program was given a decree to “get right or get left.” In response to this, we decided to undertake a very aggressive and targeted recruitment campaign to: 1. Get our overall enrollment numbers up; and 2. Get the right type of students to ensure the success of this program and help raise the school’s grade; and 3. Get the good news out about Miami Carol City.

Grisham Book Project

Last year, our magnet program was selected by Miami-Dade County Public Schools, Schools of Choice/I Choose Program to take part in a wonderful and innovative project. The project featured John Grisham’s book “Theodore Boone Kid Lawyer.” A team of some of our best faculty and I took the book and implemented it into the English/Language Arts curriculum in conjunction with the magnet curriculum.

On February 1, 2011 we conducted a mock trial based on the book. The facts were supplied by the students who read the book, the jurors were selected from another class, and the attorneys for the case, coached by myself and a friend of mine in private practice, Attorney Adres Jackson, were students in the magnet. Attorney Scott Mager, a well respected attorney and motivational speaker, served as our judge for the trial. The trial was professionally filmed and broadcasted on the company’s website. The trial was a success and something the students and I both looked forwarding to doing again.

41^st Annual Legislative Conference

On September 23-25, 2011, I was fortunate to be able to take students from the Miami Gardens Junior Council to attend the 41st Annual Legislative Council in Washington, D.C. The Junior Council is comprised of students from Miami Norland Senior High and Miami Carol City Senior High. Many of the students in Junior Council are members of the law magnet.

On Friday 9/23/11 the students attended a session entitled “The High School Class of 2012” hosted by Congresswoman Frederica Wilson. The Mayor and Vice-Mayor of the Junior Council were both participants on this panel, which moderated by Rev. Al Sharpton. The discussion centered on the state of education and what awaits the high school graduating class of 2012.

The students had the wonderful opportunity to attend a reception in honor of former Congresswoman Carrie P. Meek and see a few of the sights the nation’s capital has to offer. The students were given an in-depth tour of the U.S. Capitol and met Rep John Lewis (D-GA) and Democratic Party Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL).

Class of 2012 Top 50

The law magnet makes up less than 10% of school’s total population and 28% of Top 50. Fourteen of the top 50 students in the graduating class of 2012 were in the magnet.

The Word is Out!

We had visits from the Mayor of the City of Miami Gardens, the Superintendent of Schools, and many key members of his staff. Additionally we’ve been featured three times in major publications during my tenure. Once in the Miami New Times, and twice in the Miami Herald (Miami Herald, Neighbors Section-“From Courtroom to Classroom” January 1, 2012; Miami Herald, Local & State Section- “Learning from Trayvon” April 3, 2012).

Applications Increase

In 2009 the magnet received just 84 applications. In 2010 applications doubled to 165. In 2011, we received 225 applications (online only). Add the more than 50 paper applications we took in 2011 as well and we surpassed the combined 2009 and 2010 numbers. At the end of the 2011-2012 school year applications were still filing in, due to the fact that we had not yet met our seat maximum. At the conclusion of the school year we had surpassed last year’s application total.  

Silver Knights

The Silver Knight is one of the most prestigious academic/service awards awarded in Miami-Dade and Broward County. It is an award that honors not only academic achievements but contributions to the community as well. In 2012, 5 of the 8 nominees and both Honorable Mentions were members of the magnet program.

Junior ASA Program

The Miami State Attorney’s Office is launching a Junior Assistant State Attorney Program. The Center for Legal and Public Affairs Law Magnet has been selected as one of two pilot schools for the program. The Junior ASA program will be implemented for students in the magnet program. This program will focus on the 10^th, 11^th, and 12^th grade students. The goal of the program is to provide students with an overview of the criminal justice system with the opportunity to view the process. The program would provide seminars, meetings with community leaders, field trips, observations of trial preparation, and various lessons for the students 1-2 times per month for the school year. Additionally, mentorship opportunities, internships and volunteer work are also vital aspects of the program.

Rookie Teacher of the Year

Miami Carol City Senior High Rookie Teacher of the Year (2011-2012)

In closing, I’m very proud of the accomplishments made during my tenure at Miami Carol City Senior High, but I am in no way content. There is still a lot of work to be done to ensure the program’s viability and success in the future. Truthfully, I’d like to stay at least another year to graduate another class of students, lay more bricks in the construction of the ideal law magnet program and spend more time with some of the greatest students I’ve ever encountered. Alas, we don’t always get to decide when the curtains will fall on our act and rise on another. As such, it is time for me to move on.

I’d like to say thank you to everyone at the Miami-Dade County Public Schools I Choose/Schools of Choice Department. There is no way any of the success we enjoyed at Miami Carol City would be possible without you. Special thanks to the late Dr. Sherri Futch-James, who’s belief in me meant more than she’ll ever know. I’d like to thank the previous administration for given a babyfaced, teaching novice an opportunity to make a difference.

I’d like to thank my family, friends, and former co-workers, for all of the love, support, and energy you gave me. This task was truly greater than me. While my name may appear on the letterhead, it was you who made the difference.

Last, but certainly not least, I’d like to thank every single one of my students. You will never know how much these past two years meant to me. I know I was tasked with teaching you, but rest assured that you taught me as well. You taught me the true meaning of love, sacrifice and what it means to care. You taught me that anything is possible if you only believe and that power is not in the numbers but in the hearts of those who believe. I wish this could have ended differently but it didn’t. I wish we could have had one last hooray, but we can’t. I wish I could come back one more year to fulfill all the promises I made, but I can’t. Despite my absence, know that I’m here for you, day or night, if you need anything. I love you all and will miss you dearly.

I’m unsure of what the future holds for me, but what I am sure of is that I’m happy with the way things have gone so far so I’m going to let God decide. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!