Never Would Have Made It

Never would have made it without you.”

-Marvin Sapp “Never Would Have Made It”

Greetings folks and Happy Holidays! I hope by this time all of you are in the holiday spirit and if you aren’t, you better get there soon or Black Santa is going to deliver a beat down of epic proportions. Just so you know, Black Santa, as opposed to Jolly Ole Saint Nick, is the enforcer. And no, he’s not the enforcer because he’s Black. He’s the enforcer because he’s 6’-3”, 250 pounds and has a serious mean streak. Most of you have probably never seen or heard of him and you should thank Sweet Baby Jesus that you haven’t because he’s a bad mother…shut your mouth. But I digress.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter (@HUSLDiplomat) you may have heard about the good news I’ve been sharing- that I’m drug free, not pregnant and happy. You also may have seen me proclaim the fact that I received a job offer that I accepted yesterday. If we talk regularly or you follow the blog then you know that the last few months have been trying, to say the least. After leaving my last job the next one wasn’t immediately waiting for me, something I wasn’t accustomed to. I’m the guy who always has a plan and has 10 more just in case the first doesn’t work out. I’m the guy who always accounted for the “what if’s”. However, I failed to account for “what if there’s no job waiting when the current one ends.”

Given the current economy, my line of work and my previous locale, finding work that paid me what I needed wasn’t easy. Initially, it was no big deal; you win some you lose some. But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, it became disheartening. I began to feel demoralized and unwanted. I’ve really never been short of confidence but, here lately, I was panhandling for some. I was used to success. I was accustomed to things going my way, not because I was entitled to it but because I work pretty damn hard for everything that I get. To suddenly be devoid of the success that you’ve so regularly enjoyed as a result of years of hard work is like snatching a baby’s blanket away.

During my unemployment/job search process, it was hard to deal with people; it was hard to deal with myself. My pride and arrogance made it difficult to look at myself in the mirror. I kept telling myself, “if you’re so great why can’t you find work? Why is it taking so long? Why doesn’t anyone else recognize my greatness?” I had no answers to these piercing questions and things got worse. I sulked, I bitched, I moaned, I complained, I retreated from family and friends and I even shed a tear. However, in the midst of my strife, I found solace in knowing that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only under-employed attorney. I wasn’t the only American constantly looking for work and finding none. I wasn’t the only black man in the world who was struggling. Once I was able to not take every rejection personally it allowed me to put things in perspective.

When things go wrong we have to first analyze the problem before we can solve it. The first thing I did was blame the economy, and rightfully so. However, the blame game didn’t end there. Next I blamed myself. After pointing the finger at myself I began to change the things that I could control, which I believed would help me in my search. I got help with my resume and cover letters and sought out contacts I thought would be helpful to me in getting my name and resume out there because I understood the power of networking. As a result, my resume is probably on the desk or in the office of nearly every Democratic Congressman, unless of course it’s been thrown out already. After analyzing the source of the problem I had to take the next step.

The next step I took was prayer. I had been so consumed by my quest and how it was my problem, my fault and mine to fix that I forgot about God. It didn’t occur to me that this was a test, a necessary experience, a “Job Moment” from which to learn and grow. But even as I prayed and trusted God to open the doors I couldn’t, I got desperate. I was so desperate that I began to apply to retail stores looking for help during the holidays. Now, there’s nothing wrong with working retail. I’d shovel manure to pay the bills and feed my family if I needed to. However, when you spend six figures on your education, you look for a bigger return on your investment. So I applied, but I couldn’t even get a retail gig. Macy’s declined to offer me a job because I couldn’t work Black Friday because my best friend was getting married. I never got to the interview with Best Buy or Sports Authority because I missed the phone call and the messages I returned almost immediately were never returned. After all of this craziness, all I could think was my how the mighty had fallen. My pride took another blow as it appeared that I couldn’t even get a job stacking boxes and selling merchandise. However, the setback of not being employed by those companies was an opportunity for God to set me up for the right opportunity.

Those missed opportunities allowed me to get an unexpected opportunity-a job doing document review. Document review is filled with attorneys who are under-employed like myself who review legal documents for various firms and agencies for a decent hourly wage. In most instances, it isn’t what we would make at a firm or federal government agency, but if it’s long enough and consistent work, it’s enough to pay the bills and treat yourself to a nice dinner. What’s funny is that I applied to several legal staffing companies when I first arrived in D.C. months ago. Here it was 3 months later that I had gotten my first hit. Look at God! This opportunity allowed me to work, pay the bills and be available for the next opportunity-my new full-time job starting in a few short weeks.

I’ve learned that some things can only be gained through experience. Patience, gratitude and faith are a few of them. Many of us claim to believe in God and His power, but where is our faith in our darkest hour? We think we have the patience to withstand any storm that may arise, but how patient are we when the bills are piling up and the clock is running out? It’s easy to play armchair quarterback from the comforts of our living room when we’re divorced from the intensity of the game. But where do you stand, what do you do in the heat of the moment when you only have a few moments to make a crucial decision?

We can prepare for life’s challenges through study and education but some of life’s joys may only be obtained by enduring hardships. Did the last few months suck? Yes indeed. Do I regret the experience? Not at all. Today I’m breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I can keep my phone on, eat and forego a life of crime to pay rent. Tomorrow, I’ll be more understanding of the next man’s similar plight and be able to offer a reassuring word that comes from a personal experience as opposed to an anecdotal teaching. Our trials and tribulations aren’t just about us. Our experiences give us a story to tell, a lesson to teach and a word to share with others. I’m humbled by the experience and thankful for the opportunity to share something with the world.

I’m not where I want to be just yet, but I have every confidence that I’m where God wants me to be right now. Thank you to all my family and friends for your love and support during these hard times. Just because things are looking up doesn’t mean I want you to stop loving and supporting me now. I’ve gotten this far with you and I don’t want to go another step without you. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!