Time will bring the real end of our trial.
One day they’ll be no remnants, no trace, no residual feelings within you
One day you won’t remember me.
Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love ya, I hope you feel the same.
Oh you played me dirty, your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction, had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy, I had to set you free
Away from me to see clearly
The way that love can be when you are not with me
I had to leave, I had to live
I had to leave, I had to live
If I can’t have you let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around.
Maxwell-“Pretty Wings”
I’ve recently had a new revelation…I think I’m ready. I use the word “think” as opposed to “know” to leave myself some wiggle room in the unlikely case I’m wrong, but I’m pretty confident that I’m not wrong.
It has become abundantly clear to me as of late that the ex “just isn’t that into me” anymore. I came to this conclusion over the past few days after I sent her 2 text messages that she chose not to respond to. They didn’t say anything important just “what’s good?” She was on my mind and I decided to send her a text to see how she was doing; nothing more, nothing less. They were sent days apart and neither garnered a response. She could have been sleep, on a date, or just plain busy, who knows. But I think it’s pretty telling that she didn’t say anything. Even when I was studying for finals and for the bar exam I didn’t ignore texts for days on end.
What bothers me is that we were really working on being friends “post break-up.” Clearly there is more work to do. If I hit up one of my friends they tend to respond fairly quickly depending on if they’re awake and if they have their phone. Even when they can’t respond immediately they do so within a reasonable amount of time. But the key fact is that they respond. To choose not to respond means you’ve been kidnapped, your phone is dead or you don’t care.
Up to this very moment I’ve been very much still in love with her, which I didn’t actually realize until recently. But I think I’m done. I still love her and always will there’s nothing I can do about that. But for me to move on with my life I have to not be in love with her anymore, especially since she’s clearly not in love with me anymore. I don’t doubt that she has strong feelings for me but they aren’t nearly the same as they were, which is fine. I’ve been looking for an impetus and praying for a sign that it’s okay to move on, that there’s no longer a need to put a stopper in the door for her. As trivial as it may seem to some, I think this is it. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to delete her from my life and pretend she doesn’t exist or that I’m going to start sending her anonymous hate mail. What it means is that I can officially start writing the next chapter in my life with whomever that may be, and that I no longer have to look back.
To be honest I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, which is how I really “know” this is right. I’ve tried before to move on before, but really couldn’t. But I feel much differently now then I did previously so I’m confident I’m good to go. So, here’s to the future and whatever it may bring. I’m ready!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye
"It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye"- Boyz II Men
How do I say goodbye to what he had?
The good times that made us laugh, outweigh the bad.
I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don’t know where this road is going to lead
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s worth all the wait.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
This whole goodbye thing has been a lot harder than what I thought it would be. I’ve been ready to leave Chicago for months, and now that my time here is rapidly drawing to a close, there is a hint of reluctance which has began to creep into my thoughts. Make no mistake there is no regret about my decision to leave the office for a better opportunity and to be closer to my family, however, even knowing that doesn’t make leaving the place you’ve called home for the past year any easier. Combine that with the fact that I have some of the best co-workers I’ve ever had and you have a recipe for a tearful goodbye liken to that in a “chick flick.”
I thought my disdain for the management, my desire to be closer to home, and eagerness to take the next step in my career would shield me from any sadness. I was wrong. As the day draws closer and closer, reality sets in more and more that I’m leaving. I’m actually leaving. Furthermore, as I come to grips with this reality, I realize more and more how hard this will be. I have known for months that I was leaving and I have been trying to come up with a way to tell my co-workers for quite some time and have not done it yet. Do I call a meeting, tell them all individually, or send out an email? What I don’t want is for people to find out haphazardly or through the grapevine; at least not the ones I care about. The people I care about, I want them to get it directly from me and no other source. I think I at least owe them that. However, how do I say it? What do I say? What if somebody starts to cry? What if I start to cry? I think I have to just man up and do it and be ready to deal with whatever backlash may occur. Chicago has been good to me and so have my beloved co-workers but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s time to move on.
Anything that isn’t moving is dying. Water that is stagnant isn’t safe to drink. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. While this move is certainly sooner than expected, the situation necessitates it. My family needs me; my community needs me; and a wonderful opportunity has come around for me to do all that and draw a paycheck every two weeks. What’s complicating the matter is this bond I have developed with this group of people that I work with that I never knew I could or would. They’ve really kept me from jumping off the ledge (figuratively speaking of course).
When I came to Chicago I was in a really bad place and I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was difficult opening up to people, difficult going to work, and difficult coming home. Everything was a chore and I was unhappy. Even without going into details about my life and where I was, they really helped me start down that road to healing and recovery. They made sure I got out, met people, went to mixers and receptions, and that I spent as little time alone with my crazy thoughts as possible. That time when I finally decided to get out of the house and kick it with them, things began to get better; not overnight but over time. As a result, I owe a lot of the happiness I’ve experienced in Chicago to them.
This is tough! Much tougher than I envisioned and much tougher than I would like; but it is what it is. I know what I have to do and sometimes doing what you have to do means doing the hard thing, which in this case is walking away from them. As I sit here and type this post, I wrestle with my feelings, replaying all the long nights of buffoonery with the co-workers, initiations, drunken karaoke, office fraternization, the long days at court, the shared frustration with management, and how soon that will all be gone. I’ll be back soon enough and the 1,200 miles that will soon be between us isn’t going to stop me.
Alas, as the end of the road for us draws near and I still contemplate how to say goodbye, while I pack away my apartment; I’ll be sure to pack away the memories as well. It’s really hard to say goodbye, especially when you’re leaving such a great group of people. Stay up, be blessed and live every moment like it’s your last because you never know when it will be.
How do I say goodbye to what he had?
The good times that made us laugh, outweigh the bad.
I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don’t know where this road is going to lead
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s worth all the wait.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
This whole goodbye thing has been a lot harder than what I thought it would be. I’ve been ready to leave Chicago for months, and now that my time here is rapidly drawing to a close, there is a hint of reluctance which has began to creep into my thoughts. Make no mistake there is no regret about my decision to leave the office for a better opportunity and to be closer to my family, however, even knowing that doesn’t make leaving the place you’ve called home for the past year any easier. Combine that with the fact that I have some of the best co-workers I’ve ever had and you have a recipe for a tearful goodbye liken to that in a “chick flick.”
I thought my disdain for the management, my desire to be closer to home, and eagerness to take the next step in my career would shield me from any sadness. I was wrong. As the day draws closer and closer, reality sets in more and more that I’m leaving. I’m actually leaving. Furthermore, as I come to grips with this reality, I realize more and more how hard this will be. I have known for months that I was leaving and I have been trying to come up with a way to tell my co-workers for quite some time and have not done it yet. Do I call a meeting, tell them all individually, or send out an email? What I don’t want is for people to find out haphazardly or through the grapevine; at least not the ones I care about. The people I care about, I want them to get it directly from me and no other source. I think I at least owe them that. However, how do I say it? What do I say? What if somebody starts to cry? What if I start to cry? I think I have to just man up and do it and be ready to deal with whatever backlash may occur. Chicago has been good to me and so have my beloved co-workers but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s time to move on.
Anything that isn’t moving is dying. Water that is stagnant isn’t safe to drink. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. While this move is certainly sooner than expected, the situation necessitates it. My family needs me; my community needs me; and a wonderful opportunity has come around for me to do all that and draw a paycheck every two weeks. What’s complicating the matter is this bond I have developed with this group of people that I work with that I never knew I could or would. They’ve really kept me from jumping off the ledge (figuratively speaking of course).
When I came to Chicago I was in a really bad place and I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was difficult opening up to people, difficult going to work, and difficult coming home. Everything was a chore and I was unhappy. Even without going into details about my life and where I was, they really helped me start down that road to healing and recovery. They made sure I got out, met people, went to mixers and receptions, and that I spent as little time alone with my crazy thoughts as possible. That time when I finally decided to get out of the house and kick it with them, things began to get better; not overnight but over time. As a result, I owe a lot of the happiness I’ve experienced in Chicago to them.
This is tough! Much tougher than I envisioned and much tougher than I would like; but it is what it is. I know what I have to do and sometimes doing what you have to do means doing the hard thing, which in this case is walking away from them. As I sit here and type this post, I wrestle with my feelings, replaying all the long nights of buffoonery with the co-workers, initiations, drunken karaoke, office fraternization, the long days at court, the shared frustration with management, and how soon that will all be gone. I’ll be back soon enough and the 1,200 miles that will soon be between us isn’t going to stop me.
Alas, as the end of the road for us draws near and I still contemplate how to say goodbye, while I pack away my apartment; I’ll be sure to pack away the memories as well. It’s really hard to say goodbye, especially when you’re leaving such a great group of people. Stay up, be blessed and live every moment like it’s your last because you never know when it will be.
On to the Next One
“I move onward, the only direction, can’t be scared to fail searching for perfection.”
Jay-Z-“On to the Next One”
Each day we're blessed to see is a step on the journey of life. Sometimes the path that we walk takes us down well-lit thoroughfares, whereas other legs of the journey take us down roads not so familiar, not so comforting and not so enjoyable.
The path I have been on since I've been in Chicago has been a little bit of both. There are moments where I enjoyed being on a highway and times where it appeared like I was walking down a dirt country road at midnight. What has kept me comforted throughout this period is the fact that no matter how dire the circumstances may have appeared at times, I knew that I was on the right road; the road meant for me.
It appears this next leg of my journey is leading me elsewhere...away from Chicago. It's something I always knew would arrive, however admittedly, I never figured it would be here this soon. But I know better than most that we can’t always dictate what cards we get and that we can only play the hand we're dealt.
The hand I have been dealt has been one of lot of in-fighting, back-stabbing, lies, instability and questionable leadership. I understand things can't be and will never be perfect, but at a minimum we all require some level of comfort to deal with the trials and tribulations coupled with employment. This minimal comfort level has not been present for quite some time hence the reason I've found it is time for me to move on.
I'm not so naïve to believe to think that wherever I land things will be perfect. I'm not so naïve to believe that because I know wherever I go, humans will still be in charge, and as imperfect beings we can only pursue perfection, not achieve it. However, even in knowing that I'm still ready to take the next step and move on.
It is with a heavy heart and some regret that I make this decision to leave Chi-town. Let me make it abundantly clear that I'm not being chased out of town or being forced to leave. This decision is mine and mine alone and was made factoring in, the level of discomfort at my current place of employment, the great distance from my family and friends, and the apparent need for me to go back for several reasons. I pride myself on being a family man and as much as this move is about me, it’s about them. My family needs me right now so I’m going home.
What has complicated this decision has been the great relationship I have with my co-workers. I LOVE my co-workers. Truly they are some of the greatest people I have ever met, which really made this decision a lot harder. What has made the circumstances at all bearable is their presence and I thank them for it.
If any of you are reading this, know that I love you all like family. I understand at times I can be a little reclusive, but that was largely due in part to the fact that I deal with people with a 10 foot pole until I decipher whether or not they’re friend or foe. You guys have all proven yourself to be friends. My departure from The Chi won’t be forever, as I promise I’ll be back to visit soon enough.
I want to say thank you to everyone who bent over backwards to make me feel welcomed and to make the transition to Chicago as smooth as possible. I’ll miss you all. If you’re ever in South Florida don’t hesitate to give me a call. If you ever need anything, don’t let the distance that will soon be between us, stop you from calling me. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and hope things get better soon. Stay up and be blessed.
Jay-Z-“On to the Next One”
Each day we're blessed to see is a step on the journey of life. Sometimes the path that we walk takes us down well-lit thoroughfares, whereas other legs of the journey take us down roads not so familiar, not so comforting and not so enjoyable.
The path I have been on since I've been in Chicago has been a little bit of both. There are moments where I enjoyed being on a highway and times where it appeared like I was walking down a dirt country road at midnight. What has kept me comforted throughout this period is the fact that no matter how dire the circumstances may have appeared at times, I knew that I was on the right road; the road meant for me.
It appears this next leg of my journey is leading me elsewhere...away from Chicago. It's something I always knew would arrive, however admittedly, I never figured it would be here this soon. But I know better than most that we can’t always dictate what cards we get and that we can only play the hand we're dealt.
The hand I have been dealt has been one of lot of in-fighting, back-stabbing, lies, instability and questionable leadership. I understand things can't be and will never be perfect, but at a minimum we all require some level of comfort to deal with the trials and tribulations coupled with employment. This minimal comfort level has not been present for quite some time hence the reason I've found it is time for me to move on.
I'm not so naïve to believe to think that wherever I land things will be perfect. I'm not so naïve to believe that because I know wherever I go, humans will still be in charge, and as imperfect beings we can only pursue perfection, not achieve it. However, even in knowing that I'm still ready to take the next step and move on.
It is with a heavy heart and some regret that I make this decision to leave Chi-town. Let me make it abundantly clear that I'm not being chased out of town or being forced to leave. This decision is mine and mine alone and was made factoring in, the level of discomfort at my current place of employment, the great distance from my family and friends, and the apparent need for me to go back for several reasons. I pride myself on being a family man and as much as this move is about me, it’s about them. My family needs me right now so I’m going home.
What has complicated this decision has been the great relationship I have with my co-workers. I LOVE my co-workers. Truly they are some of the greatest people I have ever met, which really made this decision a lot harder. What has made the circumstances at all bearable is their presence and I thank them for it.
If any of you are reading this, know that I love you all like family. I understand at times I can be a little reclusive, but that was largely due in part to the fact that I deal with people with a 10 foot pole until I decipher whether or not they’re friend or foe. You guys have all proven yourself to be friends. My departure from The Chi won’t be forever, as I promise I’ll be back to visit soon enough.
I want to say thank you to everyone who bent over backwards to make me feel welcomed and to make the transition to Chicago as smooth as possible. I’ll miss you all. If you’re ever in South Florida don’t hesitate to give me a call. If you ever need anything, don’t let the distance that will soon be between us, stop you from calling me. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and hope things get better soon. Stay up and be blessed.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Pat Riley Killed Basketball
“Pat Riley Killed Basketball!”-J.B.
Even before Lebron James made his decision, and it was just rumored what he may/may not do, seemingly everyone in Chicago, has pretty much vilified him. And for what? Because he wants to win championships? Because he was willing to take less money to do it and do it and one of the best cities in the world? Get out of here! It was fine when he was contemplating joining Rose, Noah, and possibly Bosh in Chicago, but his decision to go to Miami to join Wade and Bosh and form another trio is just “ludicrous” and unheard of. Seems more like a strong case of Hateration as opposed to a strong sentiment that somehow, somewhere the basketball gods are crying because of this move.
The fact of the matter is, basketball is a competitive sport and to do well you must compete. We love MJ because he competed. He competed in practice, competed in the game, out worked you and didn’t feel bad about doing it. Despite the fact that I don’t care for Kobe personally, I respect his game tremendously because he competes! Like him/love him, Kobe’s “killer instinct” is unrivaled apart from “His Airness” and when he’s on it’s a great thing to watch.
Don’t expect anyone in the Heat organization to apologize for doing the best they could to make their team as competitive as they can. Pat Riley, Mickey Arison and the entire Heat organization have done a tremendous job in coaxing three stars into taking less money for a collective goal; championships. All three of these players, admittededly, Wade and Lebron more so than Bosh, don’t need the extra money they’re leaving on the table. But it should not go unnoticed that all three will be leaving MILLIONS on the table for a collective goal. So many times we tear down athletes for making the money motivated decision and here we have the direct opposite and people still want to tear them down. You can’t have it both ways. Either you want them to be money-hungry, egotistical, ball hogs or team oriented, self-less players.
Every time I get an opportunity to speak to a group of kids or students looking for direction in their lives, whether it was as an orientation leader, mentor, or advisor, I’ve always said “follow your heart, pursuit your passion and the money will follow.” That seems to be exactly what these three are doing. It goes without saying that championships breed more endorsements, which would more than make up for the money they’re leaving on the table. What company wouldn’t want either of these three hocking their shoes, sports drink, jock straps or bubble gum?
Even for great players, championships aren’t so easy to come by. Ask Charles Barkley, Dan Marino and Karl Malone. Even ask players who’ve won championships such as Dwayne Wade and Kevin Garnett who’ve won 1 a piece, and they’ve been on record saying that once you’ve had one, one isn’t enough and you want more. It’s not easy for your greatness to be remembered when you don’t walk away with at least one ring. But win one, at least one, and your name will be in the history books forever.
These three players have showed us thus far their desire to win championships, to be immortalized and be the best and I for one am not mad at them. Congratulations Miami Heat, Heat fans, Wade, Bosh and James. D-Wade Welcome Home! Bosh and King James Welcome to South Florida Home of Champions. See you on South Beach!
Even before Lebron James made his decision, and it was just rumored what he may/may not do, seemingly everyone in Chicago, has pretty much vilified him. And for what? Because he wants to win championships? Because he was willing to take less money to do it and do it and one of the best cities in the world? Get out of here! It was fine when he was contemplating joining Rose, Noah, and possibly Bosh in Chicago, but his decision to go to Miami to join Wade and Bosh and form another trio is just “ludicrous” and unheard of. Seems more like a strong case of Hateration as opposed to a strong sentiment that somehow, somewhere the basketball gods are crying because of this move.
The fact of the matter is, basketball is a competitive sport and to do well you must compete. We love MJ because he competed. He competed in practice, competed in the game, out worked you and didn’t feel bad about doing it. Despite the fact that I don’t care for Kobe personally, I respect his game tremendously because he competes! Like him/love him, Kobe’s “killer instinct” is unrivaled apart from “His Airness” and when he’s on it’s a great thing to watch.
Don’t expect anyone in the Heat organization to apologize for doing the best they could to make their team as competitive as they can. Pat Riley, Mickey Arison and the entire Heat organization have done a tremendous job in coaxing three stars into taking less money for a collective goal; championships. All three of these players, admittededly, Wade and Lebron more so than Bosh, don’t need the extra money they’re leaving on the table. But it should not go unnoticed that all three will be leaving MILLIONS on the table for a collective goal. So many times we tear down athletes for making the money motivated decision and here we have the direct opposite and people still want to tear them down. You can’t have it both ways. Either you want them to be money-hungry, egotistical, ball hogs or team oriented, self-less players.
Every time I get an opportunity to speak to a group of kids or students looking for direction in their lives, whether it was as an orientation leader, mentor, or advisor, I’ve always said “follow your heart, pursuit your passion and the money will follow.” That seems to be exactly what these three are doing. It goes without saying that championships breed more endorsements, which would more than make up for the money they’re leaving on the table. What company wouldn’t want either of these three hocking their shoes, sports drink, jock straps or bubble gum?
Even for great players, championships aren’t so easy to come by. Ask Charles Barkley, Dan Marino and Karl Malone. Even ask players who’ve won championships such as Dwayne Wade and Kevin Garnett who’ve won 1 a piece, and they’ve been on record saying that once you’ve had one, one isn’t enough and you want more. It’s not easy for your greatness to be remembered when you don’t walk away with at least one ring. But win one, at least one, and your name will be in the history books forever.
These three players have showed us thus far their desire to win championships, to be immortalized and be the best and I for one am not mad at them. Congratulations Miami Heat, Heat fans, Wade, Bosh and James. D-Wade Welcome Home! Bosh and King James Welcome to South Florida Home of Champions. See you on South Beach!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Spotlight
“If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear, the camera's is here, and the microphone, and they wanna' know oh oh oh oh.” Lupe Fiasco-“Superstar”
Ever since I can remember I’ve been drawn to the spotlight like a moth to a flame. Knowing just like that moth, that if I get too close, it might consume me and that it may be the death of me. Knowing this, the spotlight has always made me nervous, given me a little queasiness in my stomach, but I’ve never been scared of it. I take it as part of the process, walk on the stage and do my thing. I’m hovering backstage waiting for my name to be called and the stage-hands are all telling me it’ll be soon. So I take another sip of this water to wet my throat, close my eyes and meditate to quiet my nerves, and say a prayer so that I don’t forget my lines, look up to the sky to thank the Man above and say “I’m Ready.”
I’m confident I’ll do well because I’ve been performing my whole life; this here is just a bigger stage. While loved ones pile the cares and concerns on me I broaden my shoulders to handle the load. The critics shout insults at me; I take them with a grain of salt and make soup with it. The haters try to pull me down I’m happy I’m too high to reach and take it as a compliment that I’m on the right path. When darkness all around me tries to consume me, blind me and confuse me, I shine to light the path in front of me and continue on my journey, never letting anything deter me.
I’ve been blessed, anointed and appointed to be a blessing to others. Despite this supreme ordination I know that this road is not without potholes and down power lines, trolls and tolls, hitchhikers and blind spots. So I keep my hands on the wheels and my eyes on the road, ever vigilant, always patient, very anxious and always waiting for my exit.
Every hurdle and obstacle, every bump and every bruise, every heartache, disappointment, failure and success has been in preparation for this moment and the next. The moment where the light will shine the brightest, the room will be the fullest all in hopes that I’ll be ready. I’ve claimed my whole life to be a superstar and I feel that stardom is just around the corner. Now that I feel it, now that I sense it, now that I know it’s almost here…now what? What’s next is to grab the mic and say I’m ready.
I promise to treat every opportunity like my “First Song,” “Go Hard” every day and try not to let the applause or ridicule get to me because I’m just “Doing My Job.” There will always be an angry “Shooter” in the crowd because they want me to surrender, but I won’t. I realize that I’m a “Champion” and if I have to spit this “Through the Wire” so be it, because “If I Can’t” do it—it can’t be done. What doesn’t kill me only makes me “Stronger” and provides me the “Motivation” I need to “Claim My Place” as the “Soul Survivor” “Hustlin” everyday to “Keep Going” and “Put On” for my city every chance I get. I will never lose sight of the “Number One Spot.” “I’m Out Here Grindin’” because “I Can’t Quit” and ain’t nobody got “Swagga Like Us.” So “Let’s Go,” it’s almost “Showtime” and it’s time for the “Superstar” to hit the stage.
I’m still nervous, still curious about what waits on the other side of the curtain. I still question whether I’m strong enough and wise enough to handle the pressure. I have to be, I need to be, for me, my family and my friends; ready. None of us are born stars, just born with star qualities. The difference between a star and a burnout is what you do with your light. I plan to use mine to light up the world in every corner where there is darkness. I feel like I’ve waited long enough, I’ve talked it out a million times, have gone over the plan countless times and now it’s time to shine. I’m ready.
Ever since I can remember I’ve been drawn to the spotlight like a moth to a flame. Knowing just like that moth, that if I get too close, it might consume me and that it may be the death of me. Knowing this, the spotlight has always made me nervous, given me a little queasiness in my stomach, but I’ve never been scared of it. I take it as part of the process, walk on the stage and do my thing. I’m hovering backstage waiting for my name to be called and the stage-hands are all telling me it’ll be soon. So I take another sip of this water to wet my throat, close my eyes and meditate to quiet my nerves, and say a prayer so that I don’t forget my lines, look up to the sky to thank the Man above and say “I’m Ready.”
I’m confident I’ll do well because I’ve been performing my whole life; this here is just a bigger stage. While loved ones pile the cares and concerns on me I broaden my shoulders to handle the load. The critics shout insults at me; I take them with a grain of salt and make soup with it. The haters try to pull me down I’m happy I’m too high to reach and take it as a compliment that I’m on the right path. When darkness all around me tries to consume me, blind me and confuse me, I shine to light the path in front of me and continue on my journey, never letting anything deter me.
I’ve been blessed, anointed and appointed to be a blessing to others. Despite this supreme ordination I know that this road is not without potholes and down power lines, trolls and tolls, hitchhikers and blind spots. So I keep my hands on the wheels and my eyes on the road, ever vigilant, always patient, very anxious and always waiting for my exit.
Every hurdle and obstacle, every bump and every bruise, every heartache, disappointment, failure and success has been in preparation for this moment and the next. The moment where the light will shine the brightest, the room will be the fullest all in hopes that I’ll be ready. I’ve claimed my whole life to be a superstar and I feel that stardom is just around the corner. Now that I feel it, now that I sense it, now that I know it’s almost here…now what? What’s next is to grab the mic and say I’m ready.
I promise to treat every opportunity like my “First Song,” “Go Hard” every day and try not to let the applause or ridicule get to me because I’m just “Doing My Job.” There will always be an angry “Shooter” in the crowd because they want me to surrender, but I won’t. I realize that I’m a “Champion” and if I have to spit this “Through the Wire” so be it, because “If I Can’t” do it—it can’t be done. What doesn’t kill me only makes me “Stronger” and provides me the “Motivation” I need to “Claim My Place” as the “Soul Survivor” “Hustlin” everyday to “Keep Going” and “Put On” for my city every chance I get. I will never lose sight of the “Number One Spot.” “I’m Out Here Grindin’” because “I Can’t Quit” and ain’t nobody got “Swagga Like Us.” So “Let’s Go,” it’s almost “Showtime” and it’s time for the “Superstar” to hit the stage.
I’m still nervous, still curious about what waits on the other side of the curtain. I still question whether I’m strong enough and wise enough to handle the pressure. I have to be, I need to be, for me, my family and my friends; ready. None of us are born stars, just born with star qualities. The difference between a star and a burnout is what you do with your light. I plan to use mine to light up the world in every corner where there is darkness. I feel like I’ve waited long enough, I’ve talked it out a million times, have gone over the plan countless times and now it’s time to shine. I’m ready.
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