2010 Closing Statement

Good morning and Happy New Year’s Eve! Today is the last day of 2010 and as such, many of us will be reflecting on the year that was. We’ll look at what went right, what went wrong and what our plans are for 2011. For me, 2010 was a year of tremendous growth, great experiences and realized opportunities. I met a lot of great people who I am forever indebted to for improving my life, whom I will never forget.

I’m super excited about the prospects for 2011, with new love, new experiences, great friends and family, and bigger and better opportunities. I came up with 5 goals for 2011, which I will share with you for inspirational and accountability purposes. Surely there are a million and one other things I’d like to see done and would like to improve in the upcoming year. However, these 5 are at the top of my list and are in no particular order:

Goal #1 Put another professional license under my belt.

Goal #2 Be the best boyfriend I can be.

Goal #3 Grow spiritually

Goal #4 Be healthier

Goal #5 Grow my magnet program

As this is my last post of 2010, I’d like to thank the people who encouraged me to start this blog, to put my feelings on the screen and share it with the world or whoever would read. It started out as a way to get back to writing and as a form of therapy. And in many ways it still is. As I talk to people who read the blog and look forward to it and how they like learning new things about me and themselves it’s become so much more and I’m thankful for the opportunity.

I’d also like to thank the best team in the world for being in my corner all the time and checking me when I need to be checked and for supporting me in every new endeavor. I keep my team small, but what we lack in numbers we more than make up for in camaraderie and loyalty. Thanks family! I wouldn’t be me without you.

To the people who were with me in 2010 and for whatever reason will not be with me in 2011. Thank you for the experiences, the friendship, the counseling, and the inspiration. Thank you for being a friend. 2011 won’t be the same without you but we’ll make it. People are put into our lives for seasons. We don’t get to decide what season(s) or for how long. The only thing we can do is just enjoy it as much as possible. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Last and certainly not least, thank you God for the tremendous blessings and opportunities you’ve allowed me to see. Thank you for wonderful friends and family. Thank you for the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. Thank you for life, health and prosperity and for being there with me when few would and for carrying me when I was too weak to lift myself. Thank you!

I wish all of my followers, friends, families and readers the best in the upcoming year and I promise there will be more regularity and substance to come. As always, Stay Up and Stay Blessed. Happy New Year!

Box of Chocolates

Good morning folks! A wise man once said “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.” How true it is. Who would have ever thought we would turn out the way we did, or be where we are or who we’re with? If you raised your hand or said “I did” than Dion Warwick has a spot for you alongside the rest of her fake psychic friends. For some of us this was the best year yet; unprecedented blessings. For others this year was a test, a challenge some of us weren’t sure we’d be able to overcome. However, if you’re able to read this post you’ve made it. Maybe not in as sound a financial situation as you would like, maybe your children aren’t as smart or well-behaved as you’d like them to be (lol, sorry I couldn’t help but laugh), maybe you wish you had a better job or career. Regardless of what your hang-up may be you made it through 2010. The question is now that you’ve made it, what are you going to do to make 2011 just as good, better or great?

One of the definitions of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” If it didn’t work for you in 2010 or any year before then, trust me, it’s not going to work in 2011. Try a new thing, try prayer, try being more focused, try loving more, try being nice, try being friendlier, try raising the bar for yourself and others around you, try being faithful. Try something you haven’t tried before that may get you where you want to be.

The trials, tribulations, blessings and accomplishments you experienced this past year weren’t just about you. Yes, the hardships you encountered were to make you stronger and wiser, but they were also there to give you a story to tell so that you may help others who may be going through something as well. Yes, your blessings and accomplishments may have been a reward for your faithfulness and obedience however, it was also to show the world just how good God is. Everything that happens to us and around us happens for a reason. We don’t always immediately understand why, but in due time it’s always revealed.

As 2010 draws to an end, think about everything you’ve accomplished, your accolades, your shortcomings and your failures. See what worked and what didn’t. See what you can improve on and see how you may be a blessing to others. See what you can do to be a bigger (figuratively speaking) and better you in 2011 and see what you need to do make it happen. Make a plan, commit to it and hold yourself accountable by posting it on your wall, your computer, at work, somewhere you can see it often. If there’s no accountability, there’s no incentive to get it done. Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Breaking Up is Hard to Do and So is Starting Something New

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause breaking up his hard to do

Remember when you held me tight
And you kissed me all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

I beg of you, don't say goodbye
Can't we give our love another try
Come on baby, let's start a new
'Cause breaking up is hard to do
-Neil Sedaka, “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”


Greetings. They say breaking up is hard to do and having experienced a break up or two I couldn’t agree more. However, getting together with someone new is also difficult, especially when it follows a tough break up.

For the past year and a half I’ve been recovering from a tough break up trying to piece back together my life. It was a long arduous road that at times was dark and lonely and often appeared to be never ending. I never thought I would have ended up on this road to begin with. We were perfect together, meant to be together forever and somewhere along the way our signals got crossed and we drifted apart. More like we ran into an iceberg, but you get my drift.

The aftermath was a long road to recovery which undoubtedly left a few broken hearts along the way. There were some very important people who tried to help me recover and did the best they could to mend together my broken heart. However, there wasn’t much any of them could do to repair it; I just wasn’t ready. Over time and with much prayer and hard work, I’m ready to move on; ready to love again and be loved; ready to make someone new the center of my life. However, that isn’t as easy it sounds.

Starting a new relationship means being done with the old one. It means apologizing to all the women who wanted to be next to fill the position, when I wasn’t even ready to evaluate applications. It means leaving the baggage I collected from my previous situation at the airport for TSA to blow up like they do all unattended baggage. I don’t want it any more, I don’t need it anymore and it’s better off being destroyed.

Before I can be with anyone else, just her and I, before we can start singing love songs, before we can tie the knot, I have to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the challenges that accompany being in a committed relationship. I’d venture to say that it’s like riding a bike that once you learn how to be in a committed relationship you never forget. But that doesn’t mean if you aren’t conscious in the steps it takes to ride that bike that you won’t fall off.

I’m leaving behind all the baggage I picked up along the way here and there and only bringing the memories and life lessons I’ve learned. They say breaking up is hard to do and so is starting fresh with someone new. But I’m Ready. Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Looking for Christmas Love in All the Wrong Places

"Tis the season to be jolly."

Greetings Family and Merry ChristmasHannuKwanzaa! Yes it is without question that your favorite Diplomat is in the Christmas Spirit, however, much to my chagrin, many people aren’t. I’ve started to notice people’s Twitter and Facebook statuses declare how they’re “not really in the Christmas spirit yet.” It’s shameful to me to see people with frowns on their faces, depressed about how they’re “not really feeling it.” What are you waiting for?

There is no “Christmas Switch” to turn on the joy, laughter and goodwill that comes with the season. There is no plug that we put in and take out at our pleasure. No the Christmas Spirit should be inside you all year long and be amplified as Christmas draws near.

I think many of us are confused as to what Christmas is all about. It’s not about the lights, the tree and the holiday parties. It’s not about Santa Claus, his elves or his reindeer. Christmas is about getting together with family and friends and thinking on all the blessings the year has afforded you. Christmas is about spending time with the ones you love and the ones that love you and realizing how blessed you are to have each other. Christmas is about giving laughter, joy and whatever you can afford to not only loved ones, but to strangers as well, just as God gave us Baby Jesus.

I’m in the Christmas Spirit because I realize how blessed I am to be where I am and be surrounded by wonderful people. There have been some bumps on the road and plenty of ups and downs but this has been a great year for me growth wise and that’s something certainly to be jolly about.

Life is always throwing curve balls at us and it’s our job to stand in the batter’s box and do our best to get on base and make it home. Now is certainly not the time to sit and dwell on all that’s gone wrong this past year, who’s not here and what we don’t have. Now is the time to be thankful for all that is right in our lives, for who we still have and be thankful for the things we do have.

I think we all should dig deep and look inward to find a reason, any reason, to put on a smile and some holiday cheer and spread it with the world. Don’t let Christmas pass you by because you’re waiting for the power company to check your Christmas circuit breaker. The only person who can turn it on is you and only you. If you need some of mine I have no problem sharing as I have plenty to go around.

Since I’m off for the next few days from my day job, I promise to churn out some more posts; until then Happy Holidays to You and Yours. Stay Up and Stay Blessed.

Congratulations are in Order

They say what goes up must come down but I ain’t reached my cruising altitude
Take a look at what I did now can you imagine what I’m about to do
The places I’m bout to go and the money I’m bout to see
Gave Bill Gates some binoculars and said look out for me.
-T.I. ft. Ludacris “On Top of the World”



When you hear that a guy is 6’4, 330 pounds your first thought, after realizing that this guy is massive, is that he’s also probably mean as hell. However, that’s not always the case. The gentleman I just described is one of the nicest, most humble people I’ve ever known. His name is Brandon Washington and plays football for the University of Miami Hurricanes.

Playing Division-I football is an accomplishment in and of itself, most athletes will never experience. Playing football at the University of Miami is an experience most athletes will only dream of. Playing football at The U, with the type of talent and attention the program garners, being a starter and being recognized week after week as one of the best on a talented team in a very talented conference is a dream come true.

Week after week I watched The U take on opponents of all shapes and sizes and facing some of the future stars of the NFL. Sometimes they rose to occasion and other times they didn’t. One of the few consistencies on this team was the play of Brandon Washington. How do you judge the performance of an offensive lineman? You check for the number of pancake blocks (blocks where the offensive lineman flattens the other guy like a pancake) he gets in a game; you see how many rushing yards are gained running behind him, you see if he completes his assignments; and you see if he hustles on every play. All season long, Brandon did that and more which resulted in him being name the Atlantic Coast Conference Offensive Lineman of the Week twice and culminated in him being named to the First Team All ACC.

You may meet 1,000 Division-I athletes and may only meet 10 more like Brandon. He’s eager to learn, always willing to improve, humble, shys away from controversy and the spotlight, he’s a good student and person off the field and a BEAST on it. I don’t think the ACC could have found a more deserving individual. Congratulations Brandon on your accolades and good luck in the bowl game! Shouts out to the other 8 University of Miami players who made the All ACC Conference Team!

Give Thanks!

I really can't complain, everything is kosher
Two thumbs up, Ebert and Roeper.
-Drake, “Over”

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Thanksgiving is the time when we gather with loved ones and reflect on all that we have to be thankful for. I’m thankful for my family and friends who are my foundation, I’m thankful for life, health and prosperity. There are so many other places I could be right now, so many other things I could be doing right but because of God’s blessings I’m here “Living the Good Life.”

As I sat down and reflected on my life and my blessings I was thinking just how crazy my family is. I love them to death, but these people I share DNA with don’t have them all. I often wonder if we’re really related, if I’m adopted, is this really the family God put me in. Then I look at the pictures and I see the resemblance, I hear them talk and I hear my words, I hear them laugh and I hear my laugh, I look at them and I see we’re a family. Thinking about that made me realize how much Thanksgiving would suck without them. Yeah, we bring grief to each other from time to time but I wouldn’t trade them in for ANYTHING in the world and I’m sure they feel the same way about me (I hope).

Certainly there are a lot of things to gripe and complain about from the economy, the lost of loved ones, to the current political scene. Yet with all that’s wrong in the world be thankful for what’s right in it. In a perfect world, we’d all have a house, a nice car, have our bills paid and money in our pockets. In a perfect world, our kids would be well behaved, that relative that’s always in jail would be home for the holidays for once and the Heat, Dolphins and Hurricanes wouldn’t hurt me so much. But this world isn’t perfect and never will be. As a result, we are forced to deal with the imperfections of life the best we can and find a way to smile and laugh as much as humanly possible. If we focus too much on what’s wrong we’ll miss what’s right and life will pass us by as we sit and wallow in our state of despair.

I challenge you to count your blessings and if after counting you still feel like your number is coming up short, go take a look at any homeless shelter, any orphanage, or the downtown area of any major city and see if your number of blessings doesn’t grow. I’d like to wish a very Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Fear of Flying

Well it was just a dream, just a moment ago
I was up sp high, looking down from the sky
Don’t let me fall.

I was shooting for stars on a Saturday night
They say what goes up, must come down
But don’t let me fall.
-B.O.B. “Don’t Let Me Fall”


I used to wonder how did people who had so much were able to fix their mouths and complain. How can you who have been blessed with prosperity, a career, good health even think about complaining? How do you not see and realize how blessed you are? I know how they can do it because I’m guilty of it.

The last year or so have been trying times to say the least; the break-up, the move, the job, my grandmother’s illness, the move again, the high expectations and at times the fear of not meeting them. I got so consumed in my circumstances that I threw myself a pity party, only invited myself and got mad when no one showed up. Yes, even The Diplomat goes through things.

However, in a moment of clarity I had yesterday I realized just how blessed I am. I was talking to a friend about something I was going through and while talking to her I began to realize all the great things that have happened which I had overlooked in my dark times. She interrupted me while I rambled, told me to pause and made me realize just how good I had it. Despite her observation it still didn’t hit me at that moment.

This morning I got up to run and I prayed before I walked out the door, as I always do. I put my iPod on my Hot List press shuffled and the first song was B.O.B.’s “Don’t Let Me Fall.” I smiled a little as I stretched, hit repeat when it was done so it would be the first song I ran to. As I ran, with the music as background noise, I thought how truly blessed I am to have a career, good health, a house, a family, as crazy as they may be, who loves me, friends who’ve always been there for me, and doors that are opening up every day. It seems like every other day I meet someone who wants to pay me to do something, or help me realize my dreams, or help me with my program; and here I was complaining.

I think my fear has been of falling. I have these big dreams and lofty expectations of myself and everything that I do and for the most part, people who know me have their expectations just as high if not higher. To be honest, I’ve never had a fear of failure. I’ve always felt like I can do anything I want to do, I just have to want to do it. But lately with the large number of obligations I have, my stance started to weaken. While I and others put me up on this pedestal, for the first time I can remember I had a fear of falling.

Falling sucks! Ask any baby as they attempt to take their first step and you observe their hesitancy to take it. It’s not that they don’t want to take that step it’s that they don’t want to fall. However, it isn’t until we’ve gotten up and made the attempt to walk that walking is even a possibility. So long as we sit on the floor and crawl around, our motion is severely limited. You can’t crawl to the moon, and you can only walk so far before you hit an ocean. However, if we can suppress our fear of falling, than we’re empowered to take that first step and walk. Then once we’re comfortable walking, than we take the next step and run towards the bus, the car, the plane, the ship, or spacecraft that will take us to our dreams.

We all go through things; always have and always will. From the biggest Christian to the biggest heathen, no matter your circumstances, faith, race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation; we all will encounter trials and tribulations. It’s what we do when encountered with these obstacles that make the difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, adversity builds character. No one who has encountered success has done so without overcoming adversity (see Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Oprah, President Barack Obama, and Donald Trump).

At times it is difficult to work through our situations given the intensity and size of the task at hand. Never doubt your ability to overcome because just believing that you can and that you will is the first step in actually overcoming. It is difficult to walk through the tunnel when you can’t see the light at the end, but if you never walk out on faith and take those steps you never will. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

Have faith to take that first step, the second and the third and that while yes you will fall at some point in the journey, know that it’s a part of the process. We can never get up if we have never fallen. How can you say you know what it’s like to be on the ground if you’ve never been there? Our trials and tribulations aren’t just about us, they happen to us so that we may grow and be a blessing to others. Have faith that if He lets you fall, you won’t fall far and that it won’t kill you.

Even in the midst of my circumstances and as I sit here writing this post, I’ve found a reason to smile, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5. I don’t know when daylight is going to hit, but I can see the sun peeking over the horizon and it looks like it’s going to be a great day. Hopefully this helped you nearly as much as it has helped me writing it. Stay Up, Stay Blessed and Don’t Be Afraid to Fall.

Vote or Die!

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.”
-George Bernard Shaw

Tomorrow is election day and much has been said about tomorrow’s election: who you should vote for or whether to vote yea or nay on that important referendum, but the most important message has been to get out and vote.

The U.S. Constitution has 4 amendments that address voting rights; the fifteenth, nineteenth, twenty-fourth, and twenty-sixth amendments. The Fifteenth Amendment prohibits the federal government and the states from using a citizens’ race, color or previous status as a slave as a qualification for voting. The Nineteenth Amendment extends the right to vote to women. The Twenty-Fourth Amendment prohibits the federal government and the states for requiring the payment of a tax (poll-tax) as a qualification for voting in federal elections. The Twenty-Sixth Amendment essentially sets the minimum voting age in federal elections to 18.

What’s important to note is that voting is the only topic which has four amendments that address it; that in itself is enough to suggest that the Framers, Congress and the American people believe that voting is “kind of a big deal.” Many people gave their blood, sweat and tears for a right many of us take for granted. Many of us cry and complain about the Democrats doing this, or the way Republicans do that, or the scandal this elected official was just accused of, but yet don’t take measures to prevent or change this by voting.

By law, employers are required to allow you time to vote. Now that doesn’t mean they have to give you a two hour lunch break to go to your local polling site. What it means is, if your work hours fall during a time when the polls are open, but they do not allow you time to actually vote, your employer should allow you to come late or leave early to vote.

Voting is a right but we should view it as a duty. We should feel obligated to go vote for the officials representing our interests in Congress. We should feel obligated to go vote on the proposed amendments to our state’s constitution. We should feel obligated to exercise a right as precious as voting. No other right is mentioned as often or protected as heavily in the Constitution as voting; not freedom of speech, not freedom of religion, not even freedom from slavery.

I’m not going to get on my soapbox and preach to you about who you should vote for, what party truly represents your best interests and what numbers to punch tomorrow in the voting booth if you haven’t done so already. What I will say is, if you haven’t voted already please get up a little early, make time in the middle of your day, or at the end of your day and let your voice be heard by voting. We speak up by voting, and the more of us that vote, the louder are voices are. So tomorrow go SCREAM and Rock the Vote! Stay Up and Be Blessed!

Priorities

I like to draw inspiration from wherever I can whenever I can; church, friends, family, athletes, whatever helps. I was able to find some inspiration in a magazine; ESPN The Magazine to be specific. One of the magazine’s recent editions highlighted lists. One of the lists that peaked my interest was one from Texas Rangers’ outfielder Josh Hamilton.

Ten years ago, Josh Hamilton was drafted by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and was labeled “a can’t miss prospect.” He was so good, the scouts were so confident that he’d be a future hall of famer that he was drafted #1 overall. After a battle with substance abuse he was out of baseball for a while. A few years ago he came back with a vengeance; sober; clean and realizing the promise so many people saw in him a decade ago. Josh Hamilton’s list is entitled “Priorities” and is tattooed on his arm. His list included:
1. God
2. Family
3. Humility
4. Sobriety
5. *Baseball

*#5 is impossible without #s 1-4.”

Inspired by his list, I decided to make one of my own. My list includes:
1. God
2. Family
3. Humility
4. Career
5. Patience

I’ve always had lofty goals and high expectations for myself. I strongly believe in the saying, “Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you’ll land amongst the stars.” Ever since I can remember my dreams and expectations of myself have always been astronomical. Now that I’m older and more mature, that hasn’t change. However, to achieve your goals, one must have priorities. If you want to be a professional athlete, your priority should be on your body and your sport.

Priority #1-God
I’ve always been a God-fearing man and have never had any misconceptions about the source of my strength and health. Despite the fact that my friends and I at times have jokingly likened myself to a certain superhero (Superman), I know that anything super about me comes from Him. Knowing this, I keep my focus on God, so that I never lose sight of what’s important.

Priority #2-Family
I love my family despite how crazy they are and how crazy they make me feel at times. They’re part of the reason why I work as hard as I do. My success has never been just about me, it’s always been how can I help my family and make them proud. At times they don’t say much, but over time they’ve made it abundantly clear how proud they are and how much faith they have in my ability to achieve greatness. It’s little things like that, that encourage me to work harder and why I love them so much.

Priority #3-Humility
Because of the success I have experienced during my lifetime, the lofty expectations of family and friends and the supreme confidence I have in myself, at times it can be mistaken for arrogance. At first, I doubted that I even possessed such an attribute. However, I’ve realized that the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. “My name is The Diplomat and I have a problem with arrogance.” There I said it. To combat this character flaw and the one of my priorities is to be more humble. The past year and half has definitely humbled me, more so than I could have ever imagined. I’m not sure if God is done teaching me this lesson, but if He isn’t, I’m willing to continue to learn.

Priority #4-Career
When I think of priority #4 for me, I hear Trey Songz and Drake’s song “Successful” playing in my head. Who doesn’t want to be successful? But what is success? Success means something different to everyone. To a recovering alcoholic or drug abuser it may mean sobriety. To a first generation college student it may mean going to and graduating from college. From a person who has always struggled to read and write, it may be strengthening their reading skills. Success to me, in regards to my career means going to work every day and enjoying what I do. Success in my career means making enough money to experience some of the finer things and life and provide for my family.

Priority #5-Patience
Patience is a lesson best learned through heartache, pains, trials and tribulations. How else does one learn to “be still and know”? Many of us pray for patience but are unwilling to sit and wait for the lesson to be learned. Patience takes time to accumulate. There is no “Patience for Dummies” book you can buy on Amazon. There is no class offered at the local community college about where to find it and how to improve it. Patience comes from enduring tough times and being wise enough to sit and wait for God’s direction. It’s not an easy task and something I’m still working on. However, I know that when I’m able to have more it, I will be a much better person for it.

Being able to prioritize is a sign of maturity and is an important step in personal growth. Having a long list of things we’d like to do, accomplish, and improve on is nearly pointless if there is no order to the chaos that is our list. Sit down and think about the things that are most important to you in your life. Maybe your list looks like mine, maybe it’s completely different. Whatever it looks like, write it out, post it on the wall, in your car, on your computer at work, facebook, somewhere you’ll see it often as a reminder of your imperfections and the things you need to do to get closer to perfection. While perfection is an unattainable goal, that shouldn’t stop us from striving towards it. We benefit from the pursuit of perfection.

Well, until next time. Stay up and stay blessed!

Nostalgic

“Now everybody got the game figured out all wrong
I guess you never know what you got till it’s gone…
If you don’t know by now, I’m talking about Chi Town.”
Kanye West-“Homecoming”

The other night I received a phone call from a good friend and former co-worker in Chicago while he was at “Initiation Night.” “Initiation Night” is the “unofficial official” welcoming the newest class of attorneys. It’s an opportunity for bonding, to get to know your co-workers outside of the office, and to let your hair down and relax.

As he began to talk and I heard all this noise in the background, I contemplated telling him to call me back later. However, hearing all that noise in the background brought back fond memories of the many initiation nights I attended and how much fun we had on those Wednesday nights, and how we were always charged to “ring the bell” the next day. (I explain it to you one day M.S.). Anyway, upon learning that I was on the other end of his conversation, my co-workers began to ask for the phone and he began to pass it around. Now at the time, I was cooking dinner and entertaining company, which at the time meant nothing to me because my Chi-town family was on the line. To hear that they still think of me the way I think of them, that they miss me as much as I miss them and that they can’t wait to see me just as much as I can’t wait to see them, really meant a lot to me.

I knew when I was there and when I left how special that office was and the people that made up that office and if I had to make the same decision to leave again I would. It would be harder but it would still be the same. They know I made this move because it was in the best interests of me and my family. Even with that said, I still get a little nostalgic and long for those Wednesday nights; I still miss being in court with some of the best attorneys in Chicago; I miss having lunch together every Friday and the office meetings (HA! That’s a lie).

The moral of the story is I miss them like crazy and if they’re reading this, I wish you all the best and want you to know that I’m always thinking of you. I’m planning to visit real soon, just trying to nail down some details about my schedule before I make any arrangements. Plus, you all are more than welcome to come visit me here in South Florida. The weather is great, we have a “real” beach, good food and I’m here; enough said. Lol.

Before I forget, shouts out to everyone on the transfer list. Whether you wanted it or not, you got it. Now you just have to deal with it the best you can, learn from it and grow from it. Always remember adversity builds character and pressure builds diamonds. You can’t expect to improve without experiencing some hard times. Special shouts to the “Irish I-talian”, you’re one of the most professional people I’ve ever met and I wish you and your fiance’ the best in your future endeavors. To “The Tallest Guy I’ve Ever Worked With” thanks for answering my questions and showing me the way when I was lost. To “The Best Social Chair I’ve Ever Had” I miss you dearly! To my “First Office-Mate” I admire your zeal, your passion, your determination and your strong will; don’t ever lose it and don’t let it blind you. To “My Brother from Another Mother” I miss you homie (Pause) and I can’t wait to kick it with you soon. Keep me posted on what’s going on, I’m never more than a phone call, text or BBM away.

I hope all is well can’t wait to see you. Until then, Stay Up, Stay Blessed!

Recovering Undercover Over-Lover

“I'm a recovering undercover over-lover recovering from a love I can't get over.”
Erykah Badu-“Out My Mind, Just in Time”

Ever hear the lyrics to a song and feel “damn, they wrote this song for me”? Lol, that’s exactly how I felt when I heard Erykah Badu’s “Out My Mind, Just in Time.” I smiled, turned it up and listened as she sang my story. As I sit here listening to her beautiful voice sing alongside the accompanying piano, I can’t help but smile and think of the memories it conjures of “the love I can’t get over” that I thought I was over.

I’ve been in and out of a few different relationships and with some great women and with some not so great. Regardless of their caliber, they all ended the same, in heartache, heartbreak and disappointment. Despite my ability to cook, my nice smile and willingness to settle down it didn’t work out. You see I had problems letting go of that love. Everywhere I went she was on my mind. Everything I did reminded me of her; of us, which made it impossible to move on.

Foolishly I thought I was in control and that me moving on and moving past her was just a matter of mind over matter. I believed that if I was strong willed enough, that if I wanted to enough that I could move on just as easily as D-Wade moves through the lane. I was wrong. You were right Friend and I should have listened to you from the beginning. Stubbornly I discounted your advice, ignored your warnings and did my own thing; went my own way and hurt a few people along the way including myself.

Insanity may be defined as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. For the last year or so, I’ve been certifiably crazy. Trying to speed down a highway full of speed bumps; trying to bulldoze my way through a building too thick to be toppled; trying to climb a wall too tall to be scaled. Now that I’m tired of being crazy, tired of being frustrated, tired of being wrong, still ready to move on, I’m ready to listen.

Being in a relationship for as long as I was with my ex and then trying to move on is like trying to stop smoking. You can do it, but it’s going to take both work and time. I was putting in the work, but I was expecting to be done overnight. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, so I’m still here in rehab, on my way to recovery, longing for that day when I’ll no longer be an addict.

I don’t think about her as much as I used to. We don’t talk the way we used to. But I’m still not quite ready. Part of me finds it hard to trust a woman further than I can throw her. Part of me is afraid to commit, sell-out the arena that is my heart and be left alone to perform a two-man show. Part of me desperately wants to find another lover I can’t get over, but I’m not quite ready yet. Part of me wishes I could start a new life with the pretty girl I gave the stiff arm to, but part of me knows I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t be the man you want me to be, the man I used to be, the man you deserve, but you’ll have to deal with part of me or none of me, because right now I’m not ready to give anyone all of me.

Please don’t take it personal, try to understand that the man that you see today, while we share the same name, social security number and address, is much different than the man I used to be, want to be and unsure I’ll ever be again. I hope when this is over, things will go back to normal, I’ll go back to my dream of having a wife, 2.5 kids, a house 2 cars and a dog and can wake up from the distorted reality I’m living now; nut in due time and not a moment sooner. In the mean time and in between time, I’m going to focus on my career, my philanthropic and civic aspirations and my family. I’m going to work on being bigger and better than before, so that when I do walk out of rehab, I’ll be ready and willing to receive whatever woman God has for me. Until then, I’ll be using these posts as a form of therapy, letting it all out, or as much as I feel comfortable letting. Until next time, Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Bob the Builder

Greetings! I know it’s been a whole since I’ve made a post but trust me my absence has been justified. My re-location back to the Sunshine State, while necessary, had me contemplating whether or not I bit off more than I could chew. I’ve been working harder than a Taiwanese 8 year old in a shoe factory.

The job I took over has me working the same 10-hour plus days I was working in Chicago. Additionally, the program is in far worse shape than neither I nor anyone else really knew. On a scale of 1-10, coming in, I thought the program was a 5 or 6. Now that I’ve had time to see it for myself, I’ve downgraded it to about a 2 or 3. Going into this job, I thought I was improving and renovating an already sound project. The reality is—is that it’s a rebuilding, restructuring and repairing project, which to this point has been physically and emotionally draining. The kids are great, and they motivate me to put in the time and energy that I do every day, but there’s a lot more to this job than just dealing with them. After questioning whether or not I made the right decision, I decided to accept the challenge, put on my hard hat, pray and get to work.

I’ll be one of the first to admit that I’ve been blessed with intelligence and a strong work ethic and it’s because of these attributes that I’ve met pretty much every challenge I’ve encountered with great optimism. Admittedly, this situation has caused me to question myself and my ability to handle this situation. But as I just stated, I’m ready to work. Dr. King once said, “The true measure of man it not where he stands during moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands during moments of conflict and controversy.” I’m ready for everyone to see where I stand.

What has further complicated things are the challenges I’ve encountered in my family and personal life. My grandmother is seriously ill and has spent approximately a month and a half between a physical therapy center and the hospital. Aside from the emotional strain that is coupled with having an ill relative, is the physical and spiritual strain you experience when you’re one of the primary caregivers of that relative. My mother, despite the large number of siblings she has, is my grandmother’s primary caregiver. Before she went to the hospital she made sure she made every doctor’s appointment, had food in the house and that she had everything she needed and most of what she wanted. Since she was admitted into the hospital, my mother’s responsibilities have greatly increased. She’s also responsible for paying her bills, taking care of the house, her two dogs, keeping the family together and caring for the two school age grandchildren she left behind. Understandably, my mom has been quite overwhelmed, which is a large reason why I decided to come home; to look after my grandmother and make sure my mom keeps her sanity.

I have NO regrets about my decision and get confirmation every day that it was the right decision. I’ve learned over time that the right decisions are often times the hardest decisions to make. I have no grand illusions about my 74 year old grandmother’s health, as she sits in the hospital afflicted with diabetes, high blood pressure and congestive heart failure. The doctor’s have made it abundantly clear that it’s a miracle she’s alive today with a heart working at a fraction of its capability. My prayer is that her remaining days are as pain free as possible and that my family begins to come to grips with the inevitable and is comforted during this process.

As far as my personal life goes…that’s a post for another day.

Every challenge in life is an opportunity for greatness. The adversity I’ve experienced as of late has provided me plenty of opportunities, if I overcome, to be great. I welcome the challenge and look forward to the finished product. Until next time (which I promise will be sooner rather than later); Stay Up, Stay Blessed!

What The Hell Am I Doing?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands during moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands during moments of challenge and controversy.”
-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“What the hell was I thinking?” is the question I repeatedly asked myself after my first day of teaching. “Why did I leave my good job in Chicago to come teach?” is another question I pondered aloud along with “Is it too late to go back?” Ok, it wasn’t “that bad” but it was a challenge. Out of 4 periods yesterday, I had 2 and one of those classes had 1 student and I still felt like perhaps I was in over my head a little (well a lot). Thinking about having to go in today with 4 classes and no break other than lunch, is what led to all the questions.

I left Chicago for numerous reasons, some of which I’ve shared with you: family, quality of life, job, opportunities, etc. Another reason I decided to leave was to take over the law magnet program at my high school. I know what you’re thinking, “I know this S.O.B. did not leave his good job (with benefits) in the wonderful city of Chicago to come home and teach.” I know you’re thinking it because I’ve heard it and have thought it myself. But the truth of matter is in part yes. I did leave my job to come down here and teach.

The program was in need of a new director and I was in need of a change of scenery. Plus due to the severe bad health of one of my close family members, I decided to come home and be more than a financial help to my family. Plus I have to admit that taking over a program I used to be in, at a school I love dearly, in my hometown was very appealing to me. I would still be in a law related field, would be home, and would be working much better hours than before. Plus, there isn’t much I can do here in the legal community without sitting for the Florida Bar which I can’t do until February, so it all works out. Trust me, I have this all planned out.

The issue is that yesterday 20 kids did what ex-girlfriends, my parents, former professors and teachers couldn’t do. They did what only Freddy Krueger (when I was a kid) and snakes do to me now; scare the hell out of me. When I was standing up in front of these eager teenagers, suddenly it occurred to me that they were depending on me. I asked them their expectations of me and the program, their comments and questions echoed concerns about my commitment, whether I could and would actually teach them anything and if I will be actually sticking around. Then I realized that having 6 program directors in the span of 15 years does take a toll on a program and the kids involved; that even some of the county’s best and brightest have issues with abandonment, and that they can see right through the facades we put up. I promised those students that I voluntarily left my job in Chicago to be here with them 100% and that I would give them everything I have in exchange for everything that they have. I promised that I would teach them and that they would learn and that I would be here for them both inside and outside of the classroom.

Family, it’s not that I can’t or won’t give them my all. I question whether my all will be enough for them. They’re like dry sponges waiting to suck up the knowledge that I have for them. While I’m just as excited about this upcoming year and the years to come as they are, I am seriously concerned that maybe I won’t be good enough. For one of the first times in my life, I have a fear of inadequacy and it took a few adolescent teens to do it to me.

It’s only been 2 days and I already see that my biggest hurdles will be me overcoming myself and trusting my ability to convey a message and a lesson; and overcoming their pre-conceived notion that they’re an after-thought to me. When your teacher/program director leaves without telling you, it’s easy to put that blame on the next person to fill the void. But you know what, I knew that coming in and I expected it so it’s no surprise to me.

I actually welcome the challenge. I pride myself on rising to the occasion and if I’m truly going to refer to myself as “The Diplomat” because “I get things done” then here is one of the biggest challenges yet to get done: Undo what many of the last few directors have done, get them to trust me, buy into the program, my commitment, reach them, teach them and have fun doing it.

What the hell am I doing? I’m doing something special, something unique and something much bigger than myself. I’m teaching and I’m damn glad to be doing it. Wish me luck, keep me, my students and the program in your prayers; and pray for the best. Stay Up and Stay Blessed!

Already Home

“It may be long to get me there, feels like I’ve been everywhere, but some day I’ll be coming home. Round and round the world will spin, oh the circle never ends, so you know that I’ll be coming home.”
John Legend-“Coming Home”

Greetings from sunny South Florida. I know it’s been a while and I deeply apologize for my absence but I have a good excuse. First of all, I picked up and moved 1,200 miles from The Chi to Miami; I’ve been doing paper work and running all over town fulfilling requirements for my new job; I went on vacation for a few days; I’ve been catching up with friends and family; I had a “Welcome Home” barbecue (it was delicious); and my grandmother has been really ill. I’m tired just typing all of that out.

My vacation is over, I’m almost done with paperwork and red tape AND….I’m Home! I miss Chicago and all the wonderful people I met there but like Kanye says, “it feels good to be home.” Plus, I stay in contact with most of my friends from Chicago and I have a couple of trips planned before Christmas so they don’t forget me and so they don’t forget how special I think they are, so we’ll be fine.

The question is, “now that I’m home, what’s next?” Well, first up I need to finish unpacking so I don’t test the limits of my new health insurance when I break my neck tripping over all these boxes. Next I want to spend as much time with my family and friends to make this whole move worth while, especially my granny.Then, I want to get settled in at work and get into a groove before I plot to take over the world.

I know being home comes with a lot of responsibility. My family and friends think the world of me, at least some of them, which is both a gift and a curse. As such, they have a tendency to put a lot on me and I have tendency at times to take on too much. The problem is I don’t know it’s too much until I’m forced to sleep an entire weekend or I’m sick because I’ve overworked myself. I’ve heard the lectures and I’m heeding the warnings from friends and family members about trying to be everything and everyone, so we’ll just have much of that information I’ve retained and will apply. In the mean time, I’m going to eat my Wheaties, drink my protein shakes, try not to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and be happy living it up.

Shouts out to all my friends and co-workers in Chicago I miss you dearly and always will. No matter how badly I wanted to come here, no matter how much fun I have now that I am here, I’ll always remember you. Thanks for the love and the greatest farewell I’ve ever had. Bye Windy, catch you next time. Hello South Florida, your son is home!

I'm Ready

Time will bring the real end of our trial.
One day they’ll be no remnants, no trace, no residual feelings within you
One day you won’t remember me.

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love ya, I hope you feel the same.

Oh you played me dirty, your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction, had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy, I had to set you free

Away from me to see clearly
The way that love can be when you are not with me
I had to leave, I had to live
I had to leave, I had to live

If I can’t have you let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around.

Maxwell-“Pretty Wings”


I’ve recently had a new revelation…I think I’m ready. I use the word “think” as opposed to “know” to leave myself some wiggle room in the unlikely case I’m wrong, but I’m pretty confident that I’m not wrong.

It has become abundantly clear to me as of late that the ex “just isn’t that into me” anymore. I came to this conclusion over the past few days after I sent her 2 text messages that she chose not to respond to. They didn’t say anything important just “what’s good?” She was on my mind and I decided to send her a text to see how she was doing; nothing more, nothing less. They were sent days apart and neither garnered a response. She could have been sleep, on a date, or just plain busy, who knows. But I think it’s pretty telling that she didn’t say anything. Even when I was studying for finals and for the bar exam I didn’t ignore texts for days on end.

What bothers me is that we were really working on being friends “post break-up.” Clearly there is more work to do. If I hit up one of my friends they tend to respond fairly quickly depending on if they’re awake and if they have their phone. Even when they can’t respond immediately they do so within a reasonable amount of time. But the key fact is that they respond. To choose not to respond means you’ve been kidnapped, your phone is dead or you don’t care.

Up to this very moment I’ve been very much still in love with her, which I didn’t actually realize until recently. But I think I’m done. I still love her and always will there’s nothing I can do about that. But for me to move on with my life I have to not be in love with her anymore, especially since she’s clearly not in love with me anymore. I don’t doubt that she has strong feelings for me but they aren’t nearly the same as they were, which is fine. I’ve been looking for an impetus and praying for a sign that it’s okay to move on, that there’s no longer a need to put a stopper in the door for her. As trivial as it may seem to some, I think this is it. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to delete her from my life and pretend she doesn’t exist or that I’m going to start sending her anonymous hate mail. What it means is that I can officially start writing the next chapter in my life with whomever that may be, and that I no longer have to look back.

To be honest I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, which is how I really “know” this is right. I’ve tried before to move on before, but really couldn’t. But I feel much differently now then I did previously so I’m confident I’m good to go. So, here’s to the future and whatever it may bring. I’m ready!

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye

"It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye"- Boyz II Men

How do I say goodbye to what he had?
The good times that made us laugh, outweigh the bad.

I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don’t know where this road is going to lead
All I know is where we’ve been
And what we’ve been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it’s worth all the wait.
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday


This whole goodbye thing has been a lot harder than what I thought it would be. I’ve been ready to leave Chicago for months, and now that my time here is rapidly drawing to a close, there is a hint of reluctance which has began to creep into my thoughts. Make no mistake there is no regret about my decision to leave the office for a better opportunity and to be closer to my family, however, even knowing that doesn’t make leaving the place you’ve called home for the past year any easier. Combine that with the fact that I have some of the best co-workers I’ve ever had and you have a recipe for a tearful goodbye liken to that in a “chick flick.”

I thought my disdain for the management, my desire to be closer to home, and eagerness to take the next step in my career would shield me from any sadness. I was wrong. As the day draws closer and closer, reality sets in more and more that I’m leaving. I’m actually leaving. Furthermore, as I come to grips with this reality, I realize more and more how hard this will be. I have known for months that I was leaving and I have been trying to come up with a way to tell my co-workers for quite some time and have not done it yet. Do I call a meeting, tell them all individually, or send out an email? What I don’t want is for people to find out haphazardly or through the grapevine; at least not the ones I care about. The people I care about, I want them to get it directly from me and no other source. I think I at least owe them that. However, how do I say it? What do I say? What if somebody starts to cry? What if I start to cry? I think I have to just man up and do it and be ready to deal with whatever backlash may occur. Chicago has been good to me and so have my beloved co-workers but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s time to move on.

Anything that isn’t moving is dying. Water that is stagnant isn’t safe to drink. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. While this move is certainly sooner than expected, the situation necessitates it. My family needs me; my community needs me; and a wonderful opportunity has come around for me to do all that and draw a paycheck every two weeks. What’s complicating the matter is this bond I have developed with this group of people that I work with that I never knew I could or would. They’ve really kept me from jumping off the ledge (figuratively speaking of course).

When I came to Chicago I was in a really bad place and I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was difficult opening up to people, difficult going to work, and difficult coming home. Everything was a chore and I was unhappy. Even without going into details about my life and where I was, they really helped me start down that road to healing and recovery. They made sure I got out, met people, went to mixers and receptions, and that I spent as little time alone with my crazy thoughts as possible. That time when I finally decided to get out of the house and kick it with them, things began to get better; not overnight but over time. As a result, I owe a lot of the happiness I’ve experienced in Chicago to them.

This is tough! Much tougher than I envisioned and much tougher than I would like; but it is what it is. I know what I have to do and sometimes doing what you have to do means doing the hard thing, which in this case is walking away from them. As I sit here and type this post, I wrestle with my feelings, replaying all the long nights of buffoonery with the co-workers, initiations, drunken karaoke, office fraternization, the long days at court, the shared frustration with management, and how soon that will all be gone. I’ll be back soon enough and the 1,200 miles that will soon be between us isn’t going to stop me.

Alas, as the end of the road for us draws near and I still contemplate how to say goodbye, while I pack away my apartment; I’ll be sure to pack away the memories as well. It’s really hard to say goodbye, especially when you’re leaving such a great group of people. Stay up, be blessed and live every moment like it’s your last because you never know when it will be.

On to the Next One

“I move onward, the only direction, can’t be scared to fail searching for perfection.”
Jay-Z-“On to the Next One”

Each day we're blessed to see is a step on the journey of life. Sometimes the path that we walk takes us down well-lit thoroughfares, whereas other legs of the journey take us down roads not so familiar, not so comforting and not so enjoyable.

The path I have been on since I've been in Chicago has been a little bit of both. There are moments where I enjoyed being on a highway and times where it appeared like I was walking down a dirt country road at midnight. What has kept me comforted throughout this period is the fact that no matter how dire the circumstances may have appeared at times, I knew that I was on the right road; the road meant for me.

It appears this next leg of my journey is leading me elsewhere...away from Chicago. It's something I always knew would arrive, however admittedly, I never figured it would be here this soon. But I know better than most that we can’t always dictate what cards we get and that we can only play the hand we're dealt.

The hand I have been dealt has been one of lot of in-fighting, back-stabbing, lies, instability and questionable leadership. I understand things can't be and will never be perfect, but at a minimum we all require some level of comfort to deal with the trials and tribulations coupled with employment. This minimal comfort level has not been present for quite some time hence the reason I've found it is time for me to move on.

I'm not so naïve to believe to think that wherever I land things will be perfect. I'm not so naïve to believe that because I know wherever I go, humans will still be in charge, and as imperfect beings we can only pursue perfection, not achieve it. However, even in knowing that I'm still ready to take the next step and move on.

It is with a heavy heart and some regret that I make this decision to leave Chi-town. Let me make it abundantly clear that I'm not being chased out of town or being forced to leave. This decision is mine and mine alone and was made factoring in, the level of discomfort at my current place of employment, the great distance from my family and friends, and the apparent need for me to go back for several reasons. I pride myself on being a family man and as much as this move is about me, it’s about them. My family needs me right now so I’m going home.

What has complicated this decision has been the great relationship I have with my co-workers. I LOVE my co-workers. Truly they are some of the greatest people I have ever met, which really made this decision a lot harder. What has made the circumstances at all bearable is their presence and I thank them for it.

If any of you are reading this, know that I love you all like family. I understand at times I can be a little reclusive, but that was largely due in part to the fact that I deal with people with a 10 foot pole until I decipher whether or not they’re friend or foe. You guys have all proven yourself to be friends. My departure from The Chi won’t be forever, as I promise I’ll be back to visit soon enough.

I want to say thank you to everyone who bent over backwards to make me feel welcomed and to make the transition to Chicago as smooth as possible. I’ll miss you all. If you’re ever in South Florida don’t hesitate to give me a call. If you ever need anything, don’t let the distance that will soon be between us, stop you from calling me. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and hope things get better soon. Stay up and be blessed.

Pat Riley Killed Basketball

“Pat Riley Killed Basketball!”-J.B.

Even before Lebron James made his decision, and it was just rumored what he may/may not do, seemingly everyone in Chicago, has pretty much vilified him. And for what? Because he wants to win championships? Because he was willing to take less money to do it and do it and one of the best cities in the world? Get out of here! It was fine when he was contemplating joining Rose, Noah, and possibly Bosh in Chicago, but his decision to go to Miami to join Wade and Bosh and form another trio is just “ludicrous” and unheard of. Seems more like a strong case of Hateration as opposed to a strong sentiment that somehow, somewhere the basketball gods are crying because of this move.

The fact of the matter is, basketball is a competitive sport and to do well you must compete. We love MJ because he competed. He competed in practice, competed in the game, out worked you and didn’t feel bad about doing it. Despite the fact that I don’t care for Kobe personally, I respect his game tremendously because he competes! Like him/love him, Kobe’s “killer instinct” is unrivaled apart from “His Airness” and when he’s on it’s a great thing to watch.

Don’t expect anyone in the Heat organization to apologize for doing the best they could to make their team as competitive as they can. Pat Riley, Mickey Arison and the entire Heat organization have done a tremendous job in coaxing three stars into taking less money for a collective goal; championships. All three of these players, admittededly, Wade and Lebron more so than Bosh, don’t need the extra money they’re leaving on the table. But it should not go unnoticed that all three will be leaving MILLIONS on the table for a collective goal. So many times we tear down athletes for making the money motivated decision and here we have the direct opposite and people still want to tear them down. You can’t have it both ways. Either you want them to be money-hungry, egotistical, ball hogs or team oriented, self-less players.

Every time I get an opportunity to speak to a group of kids or students looking for direction in their lives, whether it was as an orientation leader, mentor, or advisor, I’ve always said “follow your heart, pursuit your passion and the money will follow.” That seems to be exactly what these three are doing. It goes without saying that championships breed more endorsements, which would more than make up for the money they’re leaving on the table. What company wouldn’t want either of these three hocking their shoes, sports drink, jock straps or bubble gum?

Even for great players, championships aren’t so easy to come by. Ask Charles Barkley, Dan Marino and Karl Malone. Even ask players who’ve won championships such as Dwayne Wade and Kevin Garnett who’ve won 1 a piece, and they’ve been on record saying that once you’ve had one, one isn’t enough and you want more. It’s not easy for your greatness to be remembered when you don’t walk away with at least one ring. But win one, at least one, and your name will be in the history books forever.

These three players have showed us thus far their desire to win championships, to be immortalized and be the best and I for one am not mad at them. Congratulations Miami Heat, Heat fans, Wade, Bosh and James. D-Wade Welcome Home! Bosh and King James Welcome to South Florida Home of Champions. See you on South Beach!

Spotlight

“If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear, the camera's is here, and the microphone, and they wanna' know oh oh oh oh.” Lupe Fiasco-“Superstar”

Ever since I can remember I’ve been drawn to the spotlight like a moth to a flame. Knowing just like that moth, that if I get too close, it might consume me and that it may be the death of me. Knowing this, the spotlight has always made me nervous, given me a little queasiness in my stomach, but I’ve never been scared of it. I take it as part of the process, walk on the stage and do my thing. I’m hovering backstage waiting for my name to be called and the stage-hands are all telling me it’ll be soon. So I take another sip of this water to wet my throat, close my eyes and meditate to quiet my nerves, and say a prayer so that I don’t forget my lines, look up to the sky to thank the Man above and say “I’m Ready.”

I’m confident I’ll do well because I’ve been performing my whole life; this here is just a bigger stage. While loved ones pile the cares and concerns on me I broaden my shoulders to handle the load. The critics shout insults at me; I take them with a grain of salt and make soup with it. The haters try to pull me down I’m happy I’m too high to reach and take it as a compliment that I’m on the right path. When darkness all around me tries to consume me, blind me and confuse me, I shine to light the path in front of me and continue on my journey, never letting anything deter me.

I’ve been blessed, anointed and appointed to be a blessing to others. Despite this supreme ordination I know that this road is not without potholes and down power lines, trolls and tolls, hitchhikers and blind spots. So I keep my hands on the wheels and my eyes on the road, ever vigilant, always patient, very anxious and always waiting for my exit.

Every hurdle and obstacle, every bump and every bruise, every heartache, disappointment, failure and success has been in preparation for this moment and the next. The moment where the light will shine the brightest, the room will be the fullest all in hopes that I’ll be ready. I’ve claimed my whole life to be a superstar and I feel that stardom is just around the corner. Now that I feel it, now that I sense it, now that I know it’s almost here…now what? What’s next is to grab the mic and say I’m ready.

I promise to treat every opportunity like my “First Song,” “Go Hard” every day and try not to let the applause or ridicule get to me because I’m just “Doing My Job.” There will always be an angry “Shooter” in the crowd because they want me to surrender, but I won’t. I realize that I’m a “Champion” and if I have to spit this “Through the Wire” so be it, because “If I Can’t” do it—it can’t be done. What doesn’t kill me only makes me “Stronger” and provides me the “Motivation” I need to “Claim My Place” as the “Soul Survivor” “Hustlin” everyday to “Keep Going” and “Put On” for my city every chance I get. I will never lose sight of the “Number One Spot.” “I’m Out Here Grindin’” because “I Can’t Quit” and ain’t nobody got “Swagga Like Us.” So “Let’s Go,” it’s almost “Showtime” and it’s time for the “Superstar” to hit the stage.

I’m still nervous, still curious about what waits on the other side of the curtain. I still question whether I’m strong enough and wise enough to handle the pressure. I have to be, I need to be, for me, my family and my friends; ready. None of us are born stars, just born with star qualities. The difference between a star and a burnout is what you do with your light. I plan to use mine to light up the world in every corner where there is darkness. I feel like I’ve waited long enough, I’ve talked it out a million times, have gone over the plan countless times and now it’s time to shine. I’m ready.

Dangerously Funny

Dangerously Funny

This past weekend I ventured to the “Land of 10,000 Lakes” (Minnesota) to take a brief but much needed vacation. Specifically I went to go to see comedian Aziz Ansari. I know what you’re thinking, “why in the hell would I make a 7 hour drive to Minneapolis?” and “if he performed in Minneapolis, wouldn’t he perform in Chicago?” Well, he did two shows in Chicago and they both sold out shortly after they went on sale. They then added 2 more shows, which I didn’t find out about until after I bough the tickets for Minnesota, and they sold out. I’ve seen him in Adam Sandler’s “Funny People,” I watch “Parks and Recreation” every Thursday and have send his stand-up on TV and wanted to see him in person. Plus, I’ve never been to Minnesota or the Mall of America (the country’s largest mall) and don’t mind driving long-distances. And as I previously stated, I needed the vacation.

A friend made the trip with me so the little over 6 hour trip (Mapquest said should have been closer to 7/7.5), wasn’t all that lonely. The opening act, whose name escapes me, was pretty good, and did a good job warming up the crowd for Aziz. Much to my surprise when he left the stage less than 5 minutes later, Aziz came. Normally when the opening act says “(enter artist/comedian’s name here) will be out shortly” it means you have enough time to go to the bathroom, the bar, grab a smoke and post on Twitter and Facebook that you’re at the Aziz show. I don’t know if he was in a hurry to get the show over and done with or if does that all the time, whatever his motivation it was greatly appreciated.

What further surprised me was the fact that Aziz allowed us to take pictures before his act started. When we walked in the ushers warned us about taking pictures and that we needed to cut off our phones. Of course, I didn’t listen. I don’t turn off my phone unless the Secret Service tells me too. But I did politely put it on silent. So he walks out, tells the audience he’s going to allow us to take pictures for a couple of minutes while he mimics being in the middle of his act. He then proceeded to do hilarious poses like he was literally in the middle of his act. Perhaps my favorite poses, were the ones where he pretended to yell at audience members and then jump off the stage to kill some guy. He didn’t have to do it and I’ve never heard of a comedian doing it before. So 2 Thumbs up for Aziz.

The only problem was that after Aziz told us it was cool to take all the pics we wanted during this 2 minute window, there was this annoying usher walking around threatening to take our cameras if we didn’t turn them off and put them away. First of all sir, you’re an usher at a theater. You have a job, because the theatre employs you; they can afford to employ you because they have acts that come and attract audiences. The act in question, Aziz Ansari, said we could take pictures, so I think it’s ok. He makes your yearly salary in one show and can afford to pay you if your psycho boss decided to fire you for not doing your job. But I digress.

The moral of the story is, is that I cried laughing (seriously) during the show. I’m glad he lived up to the hype and I look forward to seeing him again. If you get a chance I implore you to take it! He’s a really funny guy and appears to still be pretty cool. Aziz Ansari’s Dangerously Delicious Tour is Dangerously Funny!

Don't Push Me

"Don't push me because I'm close to the edge, we're trying not to lose our heads."
-Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five- “The Message”

This statement has never been so true for me than it has been lately. The problems that I've been experiencing have been ongoing for a few months now and quite frankly I'm tired of them. The Diplomat in me took note of the problems and hoped most or all would be resolved by management. When that didn't occur I took diplomacy to another step and voiced my concerns with my co-workers to see if I was the only one who had a problem; I wasn't. After that we brought them to management. After months of waiting on management's excuses, and them telling us to "grin and bear it" and to "stop whining" and "bend over and take it" (all real quotes) I decided to take it a step further.

First and foremost, I haven’t bent over and taken anything since my last butt whooping by my parents as a kid and I'm not working for my parents right now and I'm damn sure not taking that from anyone else. When an office full of people voice a concern and you choose to ignore it and your response is to shut up and deal, you're asking for trouble; trouble in this instance being me. I'm not going to mow down the office like a disgruntled postal worker or start stealing things (other than pens and post-it's) in protest. I'm going to have the talk with the management above the immediate supervisors because they obviously don't have our backs the way they say they do.

Secondly, for those of you who know me, you know there are several sides to me. The business side, which is all about getting the job done; the playful side, which still pulls pranks and cracks jokes; the family-man side; the quiet reserved me and The Rottweiler. Now don't mistake the "numerous sides of Clinton" as a cry out for help for my schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. We all have different sides to us and my therapist said that if I take my meds everyday that the voices would be quiet. (I kid, I kid LOL!)

Real Talk, we all have different sides to us that we show/hide depending on the situation and the crowd. Some people only bring their hoe side at night or with their significant others, some people are hoes all the time (no disrespect, when I use the word "hoe" I do so interchangeably with men and women). The point is, is that it's not always imperative or proper to show everyone every side all the time.

The problem at hand is that when I show the reserved side people who don't really know me take it as a sign of weakness. I'm far from weak and don't make the mistake of taking my situational meekness as weakness. Just because I don’t tell you I’m angry or bust out of my dress shirt like The Hulk doesn’t mean you can’t get it, because you most certainly can. I’m tired of the B.S., the backstabbing, the gossiping, the scheming, everything and there’s only one straw left that need be placed on me before you break this camel’s back and I’m forced to show my hood (305).

In conclusion, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet and will bend over backwards for friends, family and co-workers. But for those who don’t fit into any of these categories and choose to Push Me, there’s an ugly side I’m sure you don’t want to see.

I hate to end this post on a negative note so I’ll say something positive. I love all God’s children, some a little more than others, and I will continue to go to work with a smile on my face and as much joy in my heart as I can muster during these dark times. What God has ordained NO man can change! Stay Up, Stay Blessed!

Perfectly Imperfect

They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one, but who wants to admit that they have a problem. Who wants to admit that they’re an alcoholic? Who wants to admit that they’re a sex addict? Who wants to admit that something they do a regular basis, consciously, and likely without regret, is wrong? No one and understandably so. However, it begs the question, how is one to solve a problem they’re unwilling to admit they have or may not even know they have. Addictions and problems don’t cure themselves by accident; they’re fixed with a conscious effort to resolve the problem.

Sometimes it takes being called out by family and friends before you realize that you have a problem. Sometimes it takes a failed relationship or losing your job to prompt the self-evaluation needed to make that change. Whatever that impetus is, it needs to happen before change can happen.

I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and contrary to popular belief I’ve known it for quite some time. I do however, strive for perfection every day. Knowing that I’ll never attain the lofty feat doesn’t deter me from reaching towards it. Realizing imperfection and trying to correct it is part of life’s journey of trying to be better than we started. Self-evaluation is sometimes the best evaluation. If you want to improve the image people have of you, you must first look at the image you’re putting out and be willing to make changes, if necessary.

None of us are perfect and we never will be. We need to be comfortable knowing that, because no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try we’ll still be imperfect. It’s not difficult finding someone to love us for our good qualities; your hair, your nails, your smile, your intelligence. The key is finding someone who loves you for all of your good attributes and who can live with your imperfections. Nicotine, alcohol and drug addictions are bad. Love handles, foot odor and obsessive compulsive disorder, while not desirable, aren’t necessarily deal breakers. Love handles aren’t all that bad, if they were they’d have an uglier name, like fat clamps, plus some people don’t mind a little extra around the mid section. At any rate, they can be fixed with a gym membership and a diet. Dr. Scholl’s and Gold Bond have great solutions for foot odor problems and a little OCD ain’t never hurt anybody. Lol.

The moral of the story is worry about the things you can control and leave the rest to God. Changing some things you don’t like about yourself is fine and dandy but do them because you want to; not because someone else wants you to. Learn to be perfectly comfortable with your imperfections. Stay up, stay blessed

Sacrifice

Sacrifice is doing the things you have to do today so you can do the things you want to do tomorrow.

Everything worth having in life requires some sort of sacrifice; relationships, career moves, success. If you sit back and think about it, every great thing you’ve ever accomplished in your life was precipitated by a decision to forgo something you wanted to do, to do something you needed to do to attain your goal.

Take for example law school. Law school sucked and anyone who tells you different is a LIAR. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed myself and appreciate the friendships, tools and experiences during the 3 year ordeal, but it still sucked. There’s nothing fun about going days without sleeping and when you do get sleep, at times averaging 4-5 hours of sleep. There’s nothing fun about reading hundred year old constitutional law cases written in a language no one speaks any more. There’s nothing fun about having your fate in one class riding on one test at the end of the semester and then having that offset/altered by this dreadful thing called a curve. But I did it and I’m in a better place because of it. There are a lot more doors that are open to me simply because I have that piece of paper and I am forever appreciative of the fact that I was able to stick it out.

Sacrifice is a thing I don’t think enough of us do. In my opinion, too many people expect things to be handed to them. In my line of work, I deal with way too many people who have a sense of entitlement; who feel as though the world owes them something. Newsflash: The World Doesn’t Owe You a Damn Thing—not me, not the government, not some stranger off the streets. The only things we’re entitled to are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Everything else is extra. Sure it would be nice to not have to work for anything, to be handed everything on a silver platter and never have to go without. But for most people that’s not reality. Reality is, is that life is hard and we all go through things sometimes. I’ve found that the things that I’ve had to work the hardest for I appreciate the most. When I received my degree, I sought out the nicest frame I could find to put it in. Why? Because there was a lot of hard work, sweat, tears (yes tears), sleepless nights and anxiety attacks that went into me achieving it, and because of that I wanted to take good care of it and display for everyone to see.

The best things in life aren’t free. Luxury cars, vacations and nice clothes cost money. Productive relationships, degrees, life fulfillment all require a fee. No it’s not monetary but it is a debt we must pay nonetheless.

Don’t fear making the sacrifice. Don’t fear doing the hard things just because they’re hard. Do the hard things keeping in mind that it won’t last forever and that it’s the next step towards reaching your goals and that you’ll be a better person for it. Adversity builds character and for every obstacle, hurdle, trial and tribulation you encounter and overcome, you’ll be that much wiser, stronger, and empowered to withstand the next tough test. Stay up and be blessed.

Gym Etiquette

Americans are fat! It is because we are fat that there has been such a huge push for universal healthcare, dieting and exercise and rightfully so. Obesity is a big problem (no pun intended). And when your fat ass takes up 2 seats on the bus, or you arteries become so clogged with bacon fat and milkshakes, it's the taxpayers who suffer. We pay for the jaws of life that are used to get you off the couch you're stuck to, we pay for the industrial strength lube needed to grease your behind through the door. We also pay when we're getting slapped in the face with your mounds of fat and when we have to listen to your heavy breathing as you grasp for air. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against fat, chubby, thick, portly, or rotund people. I have friends who fit these descriptions. My problem is with the obese. But that's not with this post is about.

This post is about the results of this new found desire to get fit. Because of it, gym memberships are at a all-time high, every athlete and supermodel has a fitness video and people are popping pills, smoothies and running to the doctor for all types of surgery in an effort to get healthier. Congratulations and thank you for answering the bell. Inevitably some of the people are trying to be fit now, have never lifted a finger a day in their lives and have no idea what they're doing and herein lies the problem and is the impetus for this post. It's ok to go the gym but when you get there you must practice the proper etiquette or risk being bench pressed by Lou Ferrigno (the guy who played Incredible Hulk in the tv series). To help the cause I have decided to document the rule of Gym Etiquette. This isn't an exhaustive list but just a few guidelines to follow when you get started.

 

1. No Staring.
   

   On the gym floor or in the locker room, nothing makes a person more uncomfortable than to find someone staring. Whether you're impressed with abundance of muscles, the size (or lack thereof) of your comrade's love muscle, or are daydreaming; DON'T DO IT.
   

   
    

2. Get 'er Done
   

   This is not just the battle cry of the Blue Collar Comedy tour but a mantra you should live by in the gym. Not many of us have much time to waste when we're in the gym, so it's imperative that we get in, get out and get on with our lives. That's incredibly difficult to do, when you have some guy who falls in love with the crunch machine and never wants to leave. The only thing you're doing is causing severe abdominal discomfort and pissing off the people waiting for the same equipment.
   

   
    

3. Wipe it Down
   

   You should always bring a hand towel to the gym to keep from dripping all over the gym and so that others don't have to lay in the pool of sweat you just left on the workout bench. Inevitably, you're bound to forget it one day as you sprint out the house for your 6 am workout. Never fear, in most gyms there are paper towel dispensers all over and some gyms even provide towels. Use them. Just because you're forgetful doesn't mean I want to swim in your sweat pool. Wipe it down!
   

   
    

4. No Leering
   

   Freedictionary.com means to look with a sidelong glance, indicative especially of sexual desire or sly and malicious intent. It's creepy, scary and can get you in trouble with your HR Dept at work. Don't do it at the gym either. You're scaring the pretty women away and while I go to the gym to work out, eye candy is greatly appreciated. NO LEERING!
   

 

Again this list isn't exhaustive, just a jump off point to get you on your way. Hopefully this post helps someone, somewhere correct some reprehensible behavior which may have gotten you booted from your gym and stunted your desire to get healthy. If you need more help with gym etiquette, see an employee at your local gym, an experienced vet, or me. And if remember if it's questionable, don't do it. Stay up, stay blessed, stay healthy!

That's What Friends Are For

I know people, tall people, short people, white people, black people, I know people and I know a lot of them. Despite the hundreds of people in my outlook contacts I only count a handful of them as friends. I’m a private person and pride myself on keeping my personal life…personal. However, I have let a few people into my inner circle and value their opinions and greatly appreciate their presence in my life. We travel together, we laugh, we listen, we give advice; we’re there for each other. People are always quick to boost you up and just as quick, if not quicker, to tear you down. Despite the moderate amount of success I’ve had I can always count on them to treat me as a regular person and to keep me grounded when I began to think about acting out of pocket. No matter what’s going on in my life they’re there. Thanks friends!

I love all my friends equally but I have to give a special shout out to Dani. I’ve known this woman since I was 12 and we have been friends since we were in our teens. It’s safe to say that I love her like a “play cousin.” One of the reasons why I love her so much is because she’s ride or die. She was there before the ex, she was there while the ex was here and she has certainly been helpful after the break up. She never asks me for anything more than my time and good conversation. When she told me she was planning to fly to Chi-town to visit me I was excited. When she told me she booked her flight I was eager for her to get here. When she got here I was extremely ecstatic.

I have a good time when I’m out with my folks in the Chi, but they only know a side of me. Dani knows all of me, the good, the bad and everything in between, which makes it easy to be myself. She’s been here for 2 days already and we’ve had a blast. We’ve seen the city, gone out to eat, shopped, talk and our time spent together and going to revitalize my hustle and my focus on taking the next step. Being away from home, family and friends can weigh on me sometimes, especially with the 15 hour days I’ve been putting in as of late. The time away from the office, away from the grind and with Dani has helped me to see why I work as hard as I do and why my hustle isn’t just about me.

Thanks for visiting, thanks for spending time, thanks for listening, thanks for keeping it real, thanks for the LOVE!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, You're Far Too Kind!

Anyone who really knows me knows how much of a family man I am. I love my family and anyone I consider a friend, not just a co-worker or classmate, is a part of my family. I keep my circle tight because I share my world with them and I don’t think it’s something I should be giving away like day-old bagels. Opening up has never been an easy task for me, which makes it easy to limit the number of people I open too. But for those who have seen underneath the surface and can truly say “they know me” I’m thankful to have around. Because I keep much of what I’m thinking to myself and amongst friends, spending my birthday without them was REALLY tough. The thought of being without a girlfriend in God knows how long, my friends and family on my birthday brought much anguish.

I’ve always felt that you should celebrate birthdays and holidays with loved ones, something that was nearly impossible for me to do 1,200 miles away from most of my family. This sadness was exacerbated by the fact that thoughts of the ex had been controlling my thoughts lately as 2 years ago on my birthday I proposed. It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know, so I would never forget. But now that we’re not together, it seems like the worst idea ever; right up there next to voting Bush to a second term and wearing corduroy pants to the beach. Believe it or not, I wasn’t really looking forward to my birthday at all.

However, the hundreds of birthday wishes I received from family and friends all day long really touched me. Feeling my phone vibrate constantly throughout the day in court never felt better, knowing that there were well wishes coming through. I just want to say thanks to everyone for making my day such a great one, in spite of my circumstances. I enjoyed the cards, the gifts, the texts, the calls, the facebook messages, the drinks, everything. To you it may not have seen like much effort to say or do what you did, but to me it meant a lot.

Shouts out to the special lady I kicked it with on Sunday. You’ll never know how much that day meant to me and I’ll never forget it.

Big ups to some of the best co-workers in the world who started things off on Saturday with dinner, drinking, skating and more drinking and finished up strong on Monday.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this day more than bearable, but fantastic. I'm sure when I go home this weekend the madness when continue. But even if it doesn't, I've had more than enough to last me til next year. Much Love!

I Don't Know Why

I’m sitting here on the couch watching television texting a new friend who asked when my birthday is. As I reply two things hit me: (1) that my birthday is right around the corner; and (2) that this day will forever live on not just as the day of my birth but as the day I asked her to marry me.

At the time it seemed like a good idea; to ask her to marry me on my birthday. It was Puerto Rico, our first real trip alone and it was my birthday. She’s very sentimental and would want me to remember the date I proposed. I too can be sentimental but I was fearful my bad memory would get in the way of my good intentions. So I concocted the bright idea to ask her in Puerto Rico, at dinner on my birthday. It worked. Two years later I can still say I remember. Even though I don’t want to, I still do.

It’s not the fact that I asked that’s the problem, because she did say yes. It’s the fact that 2 years after the proposal, 20 months after the engagement party and 8 months after I left D.C. without her, I still don’t know why things happened the way they did. When the question is posed, “why aren’t you together?” or “why did you break up?” it takes me a while to a formulate an answer before I mumble something and change the subject. Never is it “the answer” because I don’t know “The Answer” and it kind annoys me. Ending a relationship that you were in for the better part of a decade, barely speaking to a woman who probably knows me better than I know myself and whom up until recently I had never thought about spending a day without, is rough. It’s even rougher when you can’t put a finger on exactly why your world changed so drastically. We know why dinosaurs are extinct, why Rome fell and who framed Roger Rabbit, but I have no clue why she’s gone, why she left and why I’m here and she’s there.

I have tried to trivialize the lack of an answer in an effort to move on and move forward. However, I can’t help but want to know why. Part of me wants to know so I know how and where to file this mishap so I can lock it up and never speak of it again once I know the truth. Another part of me thinks that maybe knowing why will aid in the growth I’ve experienced since “the break up” in getting me to move forward.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried my damndest to move on. I’ve tried the usual suspects: drinking, smoking (cigars), music, sex, women, television and while I must admit I am in a much better place than I was 8 months ago, I’m admittedly nowhere near where I’d like to be. I’d like to be in a place where I don’t think about her every day, or if I do I can do so without asking that damn question “why.” I’d like to be in a place where everything doesn’t remind me of her and us. I’d like to be in a place where I’m not giving eligible candidates the stiff arm because I’m still not ready. But, I’m not there yet and I wonder if part of the reason I’m not there is because I don’t know why I’m where I am right now.

I’ve asked; she’s answered; but none of it makes sense. When the words leave her mouth it all sounds like Greek to me and I don’t speak Greek. How can I learn from a situation, grow and be better if I don’t even know the lesson to be learned? I know she’s doing her thing, living her life and probably enjoying it too. While I sit here undulating back and forth like a inner tube in the open ocean between being ok and nowhere near it. In her mind she knows why she walked away. She knows why we’re not together and that’s ok with her. Hell it was her decision. Me on the other hand, I’m at a lost for words, ideas and at times my sanity, trying to piece this all together. And it makes me sick. I hate feeling this way; helpless, confused, not in control. Especially knowing (or at least thinking) that the co-pilot on this crashing plane bailed out before you could because they saw it coming and failed to let you know before the plane hit the ground.

I’m in a place now here the thought of a monogamous relationship, that doesn’t involve her, isn’t all that scary. I still admit that I’m not quite ready, and this post perhaps serves as evidence of that, but I’ve gotten a lot better. I’ve been unpacking this emotional baggage as time has gone by and I’m looking forward to getting this last piece or two of luggage lost in the airport and buying a new wardrobe at my next destination. In the mean time, I’m going to live my life to the fullest and when an answer appears I’ll be sure to write it down, take a picture of it, make two copies and file it away. Until then it is what it is.

To Whom Much is Given

The bible says, "To whom much is given, much is required." This statement is so simple yet so profound. I think it's fairly easy to apply this proverb to money and food, as they're probably the two things that come to mind first. However, this mantra should also be applied to our time and talent.

Anyone who knows me, knows I value my time and schedule about as much as I value a pair of football season tickets; HIGHLY. As a friend put it to me the other day, "if you don't value your time who will." Who should if I don't? There will always be demands on your time from different areas in your life. Due to my profession and ambitions, there are a lot of them, and at times they overlap and conflict with my personal life. To remedy this, I put everything on my calendar. That includes work, meetings, drinks with a friend, the Dolphins' football schedule, even shows I want to watch. Is it a little obsessive? I wouldn't be surprised if you said yes, because I've heard it before. But it's how I ensure I have time to do everything that needs to get done.

The point is—is that we're required to give of our time; to family, friends, children, strangers, to somebody, somewhere who isn't us. This can be volunteering at a homeless shelter, coaching little league sports, reading to the elderly or mentoring or something totally different. It is true money does make the world go round and it is very necessary for important things such as AIDS research, improving our education system and food. However, time to many people is more important. It’s invaluable and puts you face-to-face with the cause in a way signing a check or swiping a debit card doesn’t.

Things at work have been terribly difficult as of late for a number of reasons; a new judge, a new courtroom partner, difficult cases and situations which have arisen lately. While I admit things have been challenging, nothing has been impossible and I take some joy in that. My initial reaction though was to get down and sink into this funk, which took a lot of time, effort (and alcohol) to get out of. The other day I was catching up with a friend on facebook telling her how bad things have been as of late. She said something that resonated in me. She said, “To whom much is given.” And immediately when I read the statement, I knew it was meant for me. I knew that it meant that I had to stop complaining, take the hardships as opportunities for greatness and get on my J-O-B.

There has rarely ever been a doubt in my mind that I’m destined for greatness, because I know “this too shall pass.” However, the journey to this “greatness” hasn’t always been so clear and I think it rarely is, if at all, for most people. But what I do know is that to handle the big things in life you have to be able to deal with the little things. How can God expect you to deal with millions of dollars if you’re having trouble dealing with the hundreds or thousands you have now? How can I say I can lead when I don’t know how to follow? It’s impossible. With this post comes a new revelation that I’m blessed and highly favored and that I have to do the best I can with what I have before expecting more and you should do the same. Stay up, Stay Blessed, Stay Motivated!

I'm Sorry

"I'm sorry." Two simple words, are two the hardest words to say together. Right or wrong, admitting faut is difficult to do. How else do you explain the thousands of people who answer "not guilty" every day, when they know full well that they did it. How else do you explain the high divorce rate in America? How else do you explain the break up of Shaq and Kobe? Saying sorry is tough. The difficulty of the act is ratcheted up when you truly, honestly, sincerely and whole-heartedly believe that you're innocent. I'm not talking about "O.J. innocent." I'm talking about "I wasn't even in the country when the murder occured innocent." I think most of us would much rather sleep on the couch, endure the piercing stares from a siginficant other or walk around ignoring co-workers and family than to admit fault where, in our view, there is none. And understandably so.

While it's easy to focus the miniscule number of words in the phrase as a reason to give in, you have to focus on the meaning for the reason why people are so reluctant to do it. It hurts. The pain associated with apologizing is somewhere between tetnis shot and rectal examination (with no lube). It means admitting you messed up, that you made a mistake, that contrary to popular belief (including your own) that you aren't perfect. And for many of us, it's hard admitting that there are chinks in the armor or that we're not really from the planet Krypton.

Because if you focus on the positive, you realize that there is so much more to be gained by saying "I'm sorry." Respect, credibility, respectability, friendship, productivity are just a few of the things one may garner by saying "I'm sorry." If any of these things are even remotely important to you or your goals than it is certainly worth swallowing that huge egg called your PRIDE and sucking it up. Being able to apologize, regardless of who's at fault is a sign of leadership, humility, character and responsibility. While it may be tough, hard, arduous, difficult and feel like you're getting a wisdom tooth removed with not anesthesia, it may well be worth the excruciating pain to keep the peace.