Make That Change

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
-Andy Warhol

Greeting folks! We often talk about “turning the page” or “moving on to the next one” rarely realizing the difficulty in actually putting this plan into action. Think about it. How long it did it take you to break up with the ex you KNEW was no good? How long did it take you to leave that job you knew was raising your blood pressure and may have led you to a murderous rampage at your office? How long did it take you to move out of that apartment you knew was going to give you asbestos from the mold? It’s easy to talk about it but much harder to be about it. It’s easier to complain and wallow in our pit of self-pity and shame than it is to actually make a plan and then get out.

I can definitely attest to the difficulty of saying you’re going to move on and then actually moving on. For months I talked about leaving my last job. For months I discussed the difficulties of doing my job under the constraints that were present. For months I said I couldn’t take it anymore but I still stayed. Then came a point when I realized that I had to practice what I preached. I realized that I couldn’t advocate people getting out of a bad situation and finding a better one if I wasn’t doing the same thing in my life. Then I made the decision to move on.

A lot of times there is a large amount of guilt associated with the decision to leave. We may not want to leave that ex because of all the good times that we had, or how they were there for us when we needed them most, so we want to be there for them through these tough times. Or we don’t want to leave our job because no job is perfect and we like our co-workers too much. No job or relationship is perfect. However, if you’re in a relationship where you’re no longer happy and you’ve tried to rectify the situation and it doesn’t work, it’s time to move on. If your job does not bring you fulfillment and you have to drag yourself out of bed every day to get there, then you need to make a plan to find other employment. Don’t just up and leave unless you’re independently wealthy. Don’t let guilt or memories hold you in a bad situation.

No one deserves to wake up every day next to someone who doesn’t make them happy. No one deserves to spend 8 hours or more at a job that does nothing more than bring a paycheck, headaches and stress. Don’t feel guilty about your decision to move on. Once you’ve analyzed it and made the decision, feel confident that you’ve made the right decision.

Moving forward is a part of life. If we were who were 10 years ago we wouldn’t be able to enjoy our life now. We wouldn’t be prepared to. As I’ve said before, anything that isn’t growing is dying. If you aren’t growing in your relationship, at your job or in any other thing in your life, you need to assess the situation and fix it. And if that means moving on, be prepared to do so. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!