Fear of Flying

Well it was just a dream, just a moment ago
I was up sp high, looking down from the sky
Don’t let me fall.

I was shooting for stars on a Saturday night
They say what goes up, must come down
But don’t let me fall.
-B.O.B. “Don’t Let Me Fall”


I used to wonder how did people who had so much were able to fix their mouths and complain. How can you who have been blessed with prosperity, a career, good health even think about complaining? How do you not see and realize how blessed you are? I know how they can do it because I’m guilty of it.

The last year or so have been trying times to say the least; the break-up, the move, the job, my grandmother’s illness, the move again, the high expectations and at times the fear of not meeting them. I got so consumed in my circumstances that I threw myself a pity party, only invited myself and got mad when no one showed up. Yes, even The Diplomat goes through things.

However, in a moment of clarity I had yesterday I realized just how blessed I am. I was talking to a friend about something I was going through and while talking to her I began to realize all the great things that have happened which I had overlooked in my dark times. She interrupted me while I rambled, told me to pause and made me realize just how good I had it. Despite her observation it still didn’t hit me at that moment.

This morning I got up to run and I prayed before I walked out the door, as I always do. I put my iPod on my Hot List press shuffled and the first song was B.O.B.’s “Don’t Let Me Fall.” I smiled a little as I stretched, hit repeat when it was done so it would be the first song I ran to. As I ran, with the music as background noise, I thought how truly blessed I am to have a career, good health, a house, a family, as crazy as they may be, who loves me, friends who’ve always been there for me, and doors that are opening up every day. It seems like every other day I meet someone who wants to pay me to do something, or help me realize my dreams, or help me with my program; and here I was complaining.

I think my fear has been of falling. I have these big dreams and lofty expectations of myself and everything that I do and for the most part, people who know me have their expectations just as high if not higher. To be honest, I’ve never had a fear of failure. I’ve always felt like I can do anything I want to do, I just have to want to do it. But lately with the large number of obligations I have, my stance started to weaken. While I and others put me up on this pedestal, for the first time I can remember I had a fear of falling.

Falling sucks! Ask any baby as they attempt to take their first step and you observe their hesitancy to take it. It’s not that they don’t want to take that step it’s that they don’t want to fall. However, it isn’t until we’ve gotten up and made the attempt to walk that walking is even a possibility. So long as we sit on the floor and crawl around, our motion is severely limited. You can’t crawl to the moon, and you can only walk so far before you hit an ocean. However, if we can suppress our fear of falling, than we’re empowered to take that first step and walk. Then once we’re comfortable walking, than we take the next step and run towards the bus, the car, the plane, the ship, or spacecraft that will take us to our dreams.

We all go through things; always have and always will. From the biggest Christian to the biggest heathen, no matter your circumstances, faith, race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation; we all will encounter trials and tribulations. It’s what we do when encountered with these obstacles that make the difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, adversity builds character. No one who has encountered success has done so without overcoming adversity (see Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Oprah, President Barack Obama, and Donald Trump).

At times it is difficult to work through our situations given the intensity and size of the task at hand. Never doubt your ability to overcome because just believing that you can and that you will is the first step in actually overcoming. It is difficult to walk through the tunnel when you can’t see the light at the end, but if you never walk out on faith and take those steps you never will. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.” Proverbs 3: 5-6

Have faith to take that first step, the second and the third and that while yes you will fall at some point in the journey, know that it’s a part of the process. We can never get up if we have never fallen. How can you say you know what it’s like to be on the ground if you’ve never been there? Our trials and tribulations aren’t just about us, they happen to us so that we may grow and be a blessing to others. Have faith that if He lets you fall, you won’t fall far and that it won’t kill you.

Even in the midst of my circumstances and as I sit here writing this post, I’ve found a reason to smile, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5. I don’t know when daylight is going to hit, but I can see the sun peeking over the horizon and it looks like it’s going to be a great day. Hopefully this helped you nearly as much as it has helped me writing it. Stay Up, Stay Blessed and Don’t Be Afraid to Fall.