#Winning

Since I will not lose, they try to help him cheat
But I will not lose, for even in defeat
There's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens it up for me
Jay-Z “Blueprint 2”


Greetings folks! Losing sucks! No matter how you slice it, it does. Who likes coming in second? Who enjoys watching the winner celebrate and enjoy the spoils of war? No one. I’ve tasted losing before and it tastes like something you’d see on Fear Factor. If I could help it, I would prefer never to taste it again. Unfortunately, the chances of that happening are as likely as the Dolphins winning the Super Bowl this year. I’d much rather have a nice warm, cold, lukewarm, heaping dish of victory. This post is inspired by a couple of losses I’ve experienced as of late.

A few weeks ago I was nominated for Rookie Teacher of the Year for my school. When I was notified of the honor, I was flattered and figured the nomination was as far as it would go. The other faculty members that were nominated are phenomenal and I just knew either one of them would win over the young, distant, law magnet teacher. Little did I know, I would be proven wrong. I won the nomination and was bestowed the honor of being Miami Carol City Senior High’s Rookie Teacher of the Year. It didn’t come with a plaque, or a check, or my name in the paper. What it did come with is the respect of my colleagues, a sense that my work is not in vain, and a desire to work even harder to live up to the honor. It also came along with an application for the district-wide competition that was due a few days after I won the school’s honor.

When I submitted my completed application for the district competition, I knew that it was a long shot that I would even be named a finalist, let alone win. So initially I didn’t care about winning. Seriously, I had made up in my mind that I wouldn’t be touched if I didn’t win and that winning the honor of representing my school was enough for me. However, as time went on, the competitive nature in me wouldn’t allow me to settle for just winning the school wide award. I wanted to be named a finalist and I wanted to win. I began to feel like being “comfortable” with the school honor was like being ok with just making it to the playoffs.

Well it is with sadness that I say, last week I found out that I wasn’t a finalist. And while I’m still perfectly ok with representing my school, it kind of sucked to lose. I know you’re thinking that I shouldn’t look at it as losing, because in fact I did win something. I did lose. I lost the chance to be a finalist, so screw you and the horse you rode in, because I wanted more.

Some of you may know that I’m part Jamaican. So when I’m not teaching I’m working any number of my other 5 jobs, one of which is my actual law practice. A week after I failed to qualify as a finalist, I was working on landing a client I had been courting for quite some time. I built a team of well qualified professionals to assist in the recruiting and proposal and felt like we had a really great plan for success. There were other suitors as well, but none that could really offer the combination of experience, personal attention, care, concern, competence and hunger. After a week full of meetings, phone calls, presentations, texts, emails, long days, short nights, Starbucks and Red Bulls, we lost. For the second time in a month I’d lost. And again, it sucked.

Losing is an infrequent occurrence for me and I’d like to keep it that way. However, for it to have come twice in a month hurt; a lot. As strong as most people, me included, think I am, I have my moments of weakness. And every time I suffer a lost or setback, I view it as exposure of a chink or weak point in my armor.

I’ve won and lost a lot in my life and while winning feels great, it’s the losing that’s always taught me the most. While I’d rather not ever experience it again, I know inevitably I will. And when I do, I know that I’m really not losing “for even in defeat there's a valuable lesson learned, so it evens it up for me”-Jay-Z.

One of the things losing has taught me is how to win more. Because I HATE losing I prepare more to lessen the likelihood of defeat. Victory loves preparation. I love victory (and Cap’n Crunch) so I work hard to always be prepared and so should you. Loss leads to finding one’s self. It’s after a loss that you find out the true mettle of a team. It’s after defeat you find out the extent of a person’s mental toughness. It’s after you’ve fallen flat on your face, bust your lip and scraped your knee, and you’re faced with the decision of getting back on the bike or just walking it back home, where you find out what kind of person you are.

There’s nothing neither you nor I can do to take away the sting of losing, or not successfully completing a goal or task. It’s a certainty of life, like death and taxes. What’s not certain, and is left up to you to decide, is how you respond to adversity. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Pressure will do one of two things: (1) bust pipes; or (2) create diamonds. So you have to decide whether you’re going to call the plumber or the jeweler when the pressure is on. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!