Fear and Loathing

“Courage is resistance of fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” –Mark Twain


Greetings folks! Many of us have differing views of courage. Some of us see it as something we’ll pick up along the way on the yellow brick road. Some of us think courage is lions, tigers, bears and masculinity. Some of us don’t know how to define it, but know what it looks like when we see it. Before I found this quote by Mark Twain, my definition of fear was all of these together, covered with a Kevlar vest, with a superman “S” on top. But since I like Twain’s quote better I’m going to go with his as a starting point for today’s post.

Since I was 4 I’ve been performing in plays, talent competitions, sports, hell even class. And despite the fact that I’ve had my share of performances between now and then, one thing that remains the same is that uneasiness that churns in my stomach before I perform. No matter how much I prepared, no matter how sure I was that I had my lines down, and no matter how confident I was that I would have a good game, I still got nervous. And to this day, I still do. This nervousness is a result of my fear of failure.

Anyone who knows me knows I hate losing. Excuse me, I meant to say HATE losing. I will do whatever it takes, within the rules of course, to win. In an attempt to prevent myself from losing and from feeling the “pre-game jitters” I began to prepare harder and more feverishly before each endeavor. If my routine was to pray an hour before the game, I’d pray 2. If my ritual was to rehearse my lines for two hours a day, I bumped it up to 3, and so on and so forth. Whatever it was that I did before, I increased it in an effort to eradicate my fear.

Unfortunately, after countless plays, competitions and speaking engagements, that fear never went away. I soon realized that it never would dissipate and that I was stuck with this fear presumably for the rest of my life. However, when I found this quote, I was put at ease. My campaign to “stomp out fear” was a fruitless endeavor and was a race I would never win. So I then turned my focus to mastering my fear, resisting it, controlling it and not letting it control me.

We all have things that scare of us. To say that you don’t would mean you’re lying to yourself. For some of us that fear is of failure, or being alone, or losing our jobs, or not living up to others’ expectations. But that’s fine, it’s normal, it’s expected. The problem comes when we allow that fear to overtake us and control us as opposed to us controlling it. When fear controls your life, you do things differently, you talk differently. If you’re scared of failing with your start up company, fear prevents you from ever submitting the proposal. If you’re fearful of messing up your lines at a play, fear prevents you from ever auditioning. If you’re fearful that you’ll stumble out of the blocks or get tackled before you reach the goal line, fear keeps you from ever stepping on the track or field.

Don’t let fear control you. Understand that it’s there and will always be there, then use it as a form of energy to power your dreams. Use it as motivation to work harder, longer, and smarter. Use it as motivation not to take “no” for an answer and not to give up in the face of adversity. Use your fear as a means to an end, rather than an excuse not to ever begin. Resist it, Master it, Conquer it! Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!