What's Your Story?

“I’m just trying to be legendary…and my only fear is mediocrity.”
-Wale “Legendary”

Greetings folks! I’m not perfect. Yes, yes, I know it’s hard to believe but it’s true. I’m one of the most imperfect people you will meet. I’ve done some good, bad and ugly things in my life, both intentionally and unintentionally. I’ve made my share of mistakes and yet through all of the trials and tribulations I’ve experienced in my life I’ve tried to learn a lesson in each and every one of them. I don’t have many regrets because for all of the dark times in my life there was a lesson learned that has helped me to become a better person. Still far from perfect; but much better than I used to be.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my autobiography. Not that I plan on dying anytime soon, or that I’ve accomplished enough to write it today, just what it would look like up to this point. I wondered what people would say about me if I didn’t get a chance to pen my own story. What would people think about me from the collection of stories gathered from my friends, families, and possibly my enemies? What would my legacy be?

The answer I came up with was a mixed story. There are 3 sides to every story: yours, theirs and the truth. We all go into certain situations with our own biases and pre-conceived notions, and regardless of how “neutral” and “unbiased” we may think we are, we aren’t. If you’re a Republican, it’s likely that when you walk into a room full of Democrats you already have a pre-conceived notion of what they think of you. If you’re poor and attend a college with predominantly rich people, you already have a preconceived notion of what they are like before you even meet them. Good and bad stereotypes exist. Sometimes they come in handy, such as when you see someone with a hoodie, dark shades and baggy clothes in the middle of the summer you walk the other way. Other times they backfire. The fact is, is that they exist and while we can attempt to minimize them and not let these preconceived thoughts about people and their behaviors get the best of us, I’m unsure if we can ever fully get rid of them.

With that said I understand people have some thoughts about me. I’ve heard it all: arrogant, cocky, conceited, mean, loving, caring, thoughtful, selfish, inconsiderate, loyal and everything in between (if there is anything in between). Depending on who you are and when you met me, you may subscribe to some of these descriptions on one end of the spectrum as opposed to another. And to some degree or another your perception of me is true. And there probably isn’t much I can do to change that. And I’m ok with that.

People will think what they want to think about you. I’ve found that when people are missing parts to the story they often fill in the missing pieces with what makes the most sense to them, regardless of whether it makes sense to anyone else. Knowing that I’ve decided to live my life by a few basic tenets.

1. Care about people more than you care about what they think of you
People are more finicky then ally cats and will turn on you when it suits them. Catering to people’s whims will always have you playing Benson. However, if you cater to their needs as a person, then they’re more likely to have positive thoughts about you. And if they don’t, take solace in the fact that you can’t please everyone.

2. People are going to talk. Even when you don’t. Especially when you don’t.
My mother always taught me that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Sometimes, I don’t have very many nice things to say, so I stay quiet until my opinion is solicited. There was a time when I felt like this would help people have a favorable opinion of me, but it doesn’t. My reserve and quiet confidence sent mixed messages. Some thought I was shy while others thought I was too stuck up to join the crowd. When I realized that there were such divergent opinions about the same action in the same room, I began to care less. People are going to talk, even when you don’t, especially when you don’t. So it’s best to say what you please (within reason and with tact) and be ok with it.

3. Realize that every day you take a breath you’re writing a chapter in your memoir.
I’ve always thought highly of myself, let some people tell it, probably more so than I should. But it is what it is. I’ve always believed since I was child that I would make it “BIG.” Whatever that means. I haven’t abandoned that belief. However, I feel like others should adopt it too. No, not that I’m going to be the next big thing, but that they’ll be the next big thing. Once you begin to think it, plan around it, and work towards it. People who know they’re going to run for president, often times make attempts to clean up their lives before they hit the campaign trail: clearing facebook of embarrassing photos, getting rid of drunken tweets, and breaking up with the mistress (or paying her enough money to keep quiet). In an attempt to avoid a last minute clean-up I’ve decided to live life now for the success I expect tomorrow. Be mindful of what I say, who I say it to, what I do and who I do it with. I’m not saying that I’m hiding anything, but I think we would all agree that drinking with friends in your home and getting wasted is much better than getting drunk with strangers at work. Every day that I step out of the house is another day in the chapter of my life, some are better than others and such is life. But I strive to make each one better than the last.

4. Finally, find a lesson in every situation; good or bad.
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened."-Lao Tzu
It’s good to know people in high places (and at times low places too). However, there’s nothing like knowing yourself. And what better way to know yourself than from time to time to take a look at your life and see who you really are, what you’ve done, where you are juxtaposed to who you want to be and where you want to go. Find a lesson in every positive and negative occurrence in your life, learn it, and cherish it. It’s ok to realize that your late teens and early 20s were a drunken blur. It happens. It’s not ok to realize that and still carry that over. Find a lesson, learn a lesson and keep it with you.

Well that’s all from me today. I hope you enjoyed the reading, because I certainly enjoyed the writing. It’s like therapy to me that I couldn’t get any other place (especially for the low low price of Free.99). Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!