Welcome to the Jungle

“Welcome to the jungle!”
-Jay-Z and Kanye West ft. Swizz Beats “Welcome to the Jungle”

Hello folks! I know it’s been a while since I last posted but my absence has been with good reason. My mom always told me, “If you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say anything at all.” A couple of weeks ago I attended a faculty meeting with the Assistant Superintendent of Schools for the Educational Transformational Office and let’s just say it was less than pleasant. I was so angry when I left that meeting that I couldn’t find anything else to write about other than the anger and rage that was pent up inside. Every word I typed and every posted I attempted to create was fueled by blind fury. I like to write with passion, emotion and write posts that are thought provoking, however, I never want to write angry. As such, the week went by without a post.

Week 2 came and when I was ready to write again, there was still more anger, more rage, and I was too busy to try to force myself to write anything more akin to the usual. So week 2 came and went without a post. But I’m back now. I still don’t care for the present state of public education, Assistant Superintendent Vitti, his views on transforming low performing schools, and disapprove of the rudeness and smug attitude he displayed at the faculty meeting but I’m past that.

In other news, life has been crazy. I take that back. Life has been CRAZY! Last week I must have put in approximately 60 hours. For my readers who work in high demand areas such as medicine or who work in firms, I know you’re saying that’s a normal work week for you. And you’re right. But I don’t do that type of work. When I worked for the State’s Attorney’s office 11 or 12 hour days were routine and working weekends was normal. But when you work in a profession where the normal work week is 35-40 hours, 60 hours is CRAY!

The problem isn’t so much the hours, the workload, or the people, it’s all of the above. At times it can be a little much. Combine that with the fact I’m not sure anyone cares what I do, how I do it, and to what lengths I go to do it, and it can be very disheartening. I’m not looking for a medal of honor for doing my job. What I would like is some respect, some help and my life back.

Because neither of things appear to be in sight anytime soon, I’m coping the best way I can, all while trying not to stroke out in the process. However, going to work as of late has its challenges. It’s tough getting out of bed, going to work and being focused, and doing not only the things I have to do, but going above and beyond the call of duty and doing the things I’m expected to do. So much of what I do, doesn’t happen at other programs, at other schools and with other educators. But as a friend of mine once said, “being good at what you do is a gift and a curse.” People expect your best at all times, regardless of the circumstances. No one cares if your kitchen is burned down, they still want a 6 course 5 star meal. They don’t care if you tore a muscle they still want you to get in the game. And at some point or another these feats go from being lofty to outright unattainable; either because the person attempting to perform them has either shut down or has been broken down.

As much as it pains me to say it, I have to admit that I’m close to breaking. I try to put on a brave face for the students, be professional and do my job, but more and more everyday I’m embracing my humanness and disavowing the presence of any super powers. Realizing that you’re only human isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually very good to know that you can’t run through walls before attempting to do it, and knowing that you can’t fly before jumping out of a plane without a parachute. My name is The Diplomat and I’m not a superhero.

What further complicates matters is the fact that I have these hopes, dreams and aspirations being unfulfilled because I’m committed to something which hasn’t shown any commitment to me. It feels good to be loved, wanted and needed and hearing those things, even when everything else around you sucks, is enough to keep you going. I’m running out of coal to power this locomotive and the oil well that supplies the gas to make this SUV run, is close to empty.

The only thing I can do is to continue to grin and bear it, pray for change and strength to handle it all until things do change. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!