The Role Model Dilemma

Role model- A person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people.

Greetings folks and welcome to another edition of “The Diplomat’s Report.” The past few weeks have been really busy, exciting and tiring. Between work, travel and trying to take over the world, I’ve been working harder than a fat man’s pacemaker. I came really close to not penning a post this week. However, there are a lot of you who are avid readers of the blog so I made the time to make it happen. Hopefully you won’t be disappointed. This week we’re talking about role models.

In 1993, National Basketball Association Hall of Fame player Charles Barkley stated in an interview, “I’m not paid to be a role model. I’m paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court.” At the time, Barkley was a highly talented, highly paid and highly visible professional athlete.  Consequently, his statement set off a firestorm across the country and led to a national conversation about role models between everyone from newspaper columnists, celebrities and parents about whether athletes are and should be role models. In sharp contrast to Barkley’s sentiments was NBA Hall of Famer and then Utah Jazz star Power Forward, Karl Malone. In a column that appeared in Sports Illustrated, Malone wrote, “Charles...I don't think it's your decision to make. We don't choose to be role models, we are chosen. Our only choice is whether to be a good role model or a bad one.” Is Charles Barkley a role model? Should we look to athletes and entertainers as examples by which to pattern our lives? Or should we just admire their athletic prowess or unique talent and find a role model elsewhere?

Athletes and entertainers do not always get to dictate when the lights and cameras come on and go off so they must always be on their best behavior or suffer the consequences and repercussions of their actions. Is this fair? Yes, I believe it is. When Peyton Manning and Beyonce sign lucrative endorsement deals they agree to be the face of a particular brand or product. It’s understood that when Pepsi, Papa John’s, or any number of the companies that they have partnered with, hired them that they would be on their best behavior. There’s a reason why the average Joe or Mary doesn’t get lucrative offers to endorse products. Celebrities, implicitly and often explicitly, agree to be on their best behavior and be held to a higher standard than others. It follows the old adage, “To whom much is given, much is required.”

In my humble opinion I think we lack role models. When I was young and it was time to go outside and play, my friends and I would pretend to be our favorite athletes. One of my favorite football players was Barry Sanders so when it came time to play football in the neighborhood, he is whom I pretended to be. For every sport there was a different athlete and in many cases, many different ones to choose from. It’s easy to turn on the television or get on the internet to find an example of a shot or move you’d like to mimic in a game or a match. However, what if you aren’t athletically inclined? Well there are always Rick Ross, Maroon 5 and Nikki Minaj videos to practice rapping, singing and dancing. But what if you can’t sing, dance, write, rap or run 40 yards in under 5 seconds? If LeBron James and Dwyane Wade only serve as “role models” for what to do and not to do on the basketball court, who do you emulate if you don’t want to be a basketball player?

If you’re from a low socio-economic neighborhood, it’s likely that you have very few positive examples of what success looks like. Even those of you whom didn’t grow up in an economically depressed neighborhood may have lacked a close relationship with a doctor, lawyer, engineer or entrepreneur, but it’s more likely that you didn’t. Those who do not have a close positive example of success are drawn to the closest one they can find. If this example isn’t in the home it’s either on the street or on television, both of which often tend to be poor sources for role models. However, good or bad these examples may be, they are still role models.

I agree with Karl Malone, you don’t get to choose whether or not you will serve as a role model. The person who makes that decision is the fan, the follower, the young and the impressionable. My role models never filled out an application to be my role model. They were my role models because they were whom I chose to pattern my life after. My parents, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Michael Jordan and Jay Z, just to name a few, had no say so in the matter. I chose them and I didn’t need their consent, signature or acknowledgment. Young people find their role models anywhere they can.

While society may look down upon gang members and drug dealers, to their admirers, these are the closest or only examples of success and therefore serve as role models. We can’t rightfully tell a person not to admire the rap artist with the gaudy jewelry and nice cars, or the neighborhood hustler who always has a pocket full of cash and not provide an adequate alternative. We can’t praise the hustle and the financial gains garnered from the hustle and then put down the hustler. While Bill Gates and Warren Buffet may be many people’s model of success, the neighborhood drug lord, rap artist or star athlete is a model for others. It’s hypocritical of society to tell a young person not to admire a gang member, drug dealer or rap artist and not replace that example with a better one. To discourage one form of “success” without a tangible example of the alternative is an exercise in futility.

Whether we want to be or not we are role models and we must govern ourselves accordingly. My parents always warned me to be careful what I said and did at all times because people were always watching whether I saw them or not. Just as my role models had no say so in the matter of whether they would serve as my role model, I know that I have no vote in whether some child, youth, or young adult will choose me to be their role model. I understand that as an African-American with two degrees, no arrest record, no STD and a modest level of success, that I can be chosen at any time and never get the call that I’ve been drafted. As such, I live each day like someone is watching and handle each moment like it may be recorded for others to see. While at times this may be a heavy load to shoulder, I accept it.

In conclusion, I no longer think we’re at a loss for role models. I just think we need more people to realize that they are role models and to act accordingly. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!