Great Expectations

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48 (NIV)

Greetings folks. Things have been really busy for me lately; at home, work and every place in between. However, one of the things that keeps me motivated is the bible verse referenced above. Unless you’re an avid reader of the bible you’ve probably never heard the verse in its entirety. However, most of us, (saints, sinners and backsliders alike), have heard the common abbreviated quote “To whom much is given much is required.” It’s one I’ve heard frequently throughout my life. Whenever I begin to feel like the weight on my shoulders is too much, many of my friends and family recite this quote as a reminder to “suck it up and deal” because I can handle it.

As of late, I’ve been asking myself the question “How much is too much?” It’s easy for outsiders to tell you what you can and cannot handle when the weight you’re bearing isn’t on their shoulders. It’s easy for others to tell you to stay in the race and to keep running when they’re standing on the sideline in the shade drinking lemonade. At times it feels as though we’re guilt- tripped into continuing the treacherous road we’re travelling because other people say “you can handle it.” What happens when you can’t? Who’s there to tell you to stop, slow down, or take a break? Who’s there to tell you that enough is enough and that maybe you’re shouldering a little too much of the world’s cares? And if they are there, are they any more qualified to make that judgment than the folks telling you to press on?

At some point I came to the realization that the only person competent to make this decision is me. I can’t expect my trainer to tell me the weight on the bar is too heavy. I have to tell him. It’s my body and no one knows my body better than I do. Much is the same for our spiritual/emotional bodies. Often times we expect others to think about us, care about us, and make decisions about our physical, spiritual and emotional mindset. However, they’re not qualified to do so. The most qualified person to make that call is you. You know what you can handle and what you can’t handle. You know what’s too much and what’s not enough. You know when you’ve had your fill and when you can stand to have a little bit more. You alone are in charge of telling the world “enough is enough.” You alone are responsible for flipping the card to red at the churrascaria. You alone are responsible for telling people “no mas.”

By our very own nature we as people are selfish. We don’t always mean to be, but we are. We make decisions based on our wants, needs and desires and the concerns of others are secondary. We do what works best for us, which doesn’t always work for others. Most of the time, the inconvenience that people visit on your life is inadvertent and unintentional. You have to stop and think and ask, why would people stop loading you down with stuff if you never tell them it’s a problem? Why would someone stop offering you chocolate doughnuts if you’ve never told them that you’re allergic to chocolate? The onus is on you to speak up and let your desires be known.

I’m acutely aware of the fact that some people, myself included, view saying “no” as a sign of weakness. Those of us who feel this way tell ourselves, that they bring it to us because we’re the best and the brightest and that they wanted the job done right so they brought it to us. Often times that is true. Being talented and dependable is a gift and a curse. It engenders an unrivaled trust in your ability to make things happen. Get lucky and let the nearly impossible happen and they begin to think you’re David Copperfield. Then they’re coming to you to make magic happen. However, at times it’s all in our heads. Sometimes it’s just a matter of our foolish pride and insecurities that won’t allow us to say “no, stop, or not right now.” But if we don’t say it who will?

Don’t be afraid to say that the extra biscuit is too much. While one extra biscuit at breakfast may not seem like too much now, try doing it every day and see what your waistline has to say about that. Have the courage to stand up and say no. At the end of the day you’re no good to your family, friends, co-workers or yourself, if you’re dead or dying because you’re stressed and over-worked.

If you’ve been blessed with certain talents and abilities you’re compelled to cultivate them and share them with the world. However, you’re not obligated to do so without boundaries; boundaries that only you can set. Until next time, Stay Up and Be Blessed!